So, it looks like this little guy will not be following in the footsteps of his big sister – Kaylia surprised us by arriving at 36 weeks, so my doctor told us to be ready this time around! Fortunately, the 36th week has come and gone, and Baby is still right where he should be, so this is good.
Really, it’s GOOD!!
I’m trying to convince myself….In my head and heart, I know it is the best for Baby to be full-term before he makes his debut, but in my back, hips, and pelvis, I was quite sure I could handle another preemie!!
Now this whole waiting thing has become a big mental challenge, because we took the doctor seriously when she said, “Get ready!” We have our car seat by the door, we’ve got everybody’s bags packed, we’ve got the hospital snacks ready to go, WE ARE READY!!
But when the doctor checked me last week, and said there was no sign of anything happening anytime soon, I got a bit crabby for a few days. Wait, I’ve been a bit crabby for awhile already – I got crabbier than usual for a few days.
What hit me one night, though, as I sat alone in the dark, after being unable to fall asleep after the fifth trip to the bathroom, is that God knows. He knows the pain I’m in, He knows how hard it is to wait, and yet I’m pretty sure He still wants me to walk through this with joy!
And then I felt ashamed, because there are so many people who are waiting on much, much harder things in life. Silly me, I know that I won’t be pregnant forever, and I know that I’m waiting for something awesome and joyful and miraculous. But it’s so easy to sink into my own discomfort, and focus on the pain I’m experiencing right now, and forget all that other stuff.
I came across a great blog post on learning to wait:
“Over the years, I have learned that waiting on the Lord is one of the most potentially sanctifying (and necessary) aspects of the Christian life….I pray that God will sanctify my impatience.”
So for now, I’m being sanctified! And I’m trying to smile sweetly at ALL the people who ask, “How are you feeling?”
My answer is, “I feel ready to have a baby!!”
In the meantime, we’re already enjoying some really cute laundry….:)