3 Questions to Ask for a Simplified Christmas

This is the 20th Christmas Ben and I have celebrated in our own home, but I feel like I still keep tweaking traditions each year, trying to figure out how to make it more meaningful and memorable, without feeling stressed and frazzled.

In my quest for a calmer Christmas, I came across a book a few years ago called “Simplify Christmas” (which is sadly out of print). It included a list of questions to reflect on what would make this holiday most meaningful.

Even though I read it years ago, I still remember three of the questions, because they led to a huge realization: I didn’t actually like Christmas. I dreaded it every year, and these questions made me realize why.

I return to these three simple questions each year, to keep us on track, and to increase the enjoyment of Christmas, while calming the chaos. And it’s helped! I enjoy Christmas so much more than I used to.

They’re such basic questions, it seems unnecessary to ask them, but sometimes we get so stuck in holiday traditions that we forget why we do them, or stop paying attention to how they really make us feel. Maybe you’ll find these three questions helpful this Christmas, too!

What is your favourite Christmas memory from your childhood?

There were lots of things I loved about Christmas as a child, but when I really narrowed it down, I realized my favourite was our family’s candlelit Christmas meal.

My mom insisted it had to be in the evening, so it would be dark when we ate. There were always candles, we always listened to Frank Mills Christmas piano music, and we always ate fried chicken from Chicken Delight. Coleslaw and dinner rolls are more likely to make me think of Christmas dinner than a summer picnic! But it was the way it was. My mom did not spend Christmas in the kitchen.

When I listed these things the first time, I had a few big revelations: I was spending much more time in the kitchen on Christmas than I wanted to, we did not have enough cozy candlelight moments, and we had no piano Christmas music like the kind I grew up listening to.

I realized these were easy problems to solve! We simplified our Christmas meal by switching from a turkey dinner to roast beef. No bones to pick or mess to clean up like after roasting a turkey, and I could just throw potatoes, carrots, and onions right into the slow cooker, to have everything done at the same time, with no extra dishes. Much less time in the kitchen!!

We bought the Piano Guys Christmas album, which perfectly satisfied the desire deep within me for piano Christmas music.

That left the cozy candlelight glow feeling I loved the most. We were already eating our Christmas dinner by candlelight, but I decided that since it was my favourite, and stood out to me the most from all my childhood memories, we should have more of it. More of what I love = more love!

So we started a little tradition called the Christmas Eve Hot Chocolate Party. We set up a little table by the Christmas tree filled with sweets and hot chocolate (which is more sugar than my kids eat the entire rest of the year, so they think it’s a dream come true), and have a cozy little snack on Christmas Eve. (Bonus: it helps me feel less guilty about the fact that we will never have a sleepover by our Christmas tree. Nothing about that idea appeals to me.)

But the Hot Chocolate Party is magical.

It was incredibly helpful for me to use childhood memories to shift our own family’s traditions. Now that my girls are old enough to have their own Christmas memories from when they were younger, I’ve asked them the same question, and used their answers to make sure we cover all the things that are most special for them. They’ve said things like decorating the tree together as a family, opening presents on Christmas morning (and not waiting until later in the day), setting up our Christmas village ornaments, and decorating gingerbread houses. *Ben is not a fan of gingerbread houses, but preassembled houses are an acceptable compromise. 🙂

What do you enjoy the least about Christmas?

When I thought about how I felt about Christmas as a kid, and how I feel about Christmas as an adult, I realized that all the childhood magic was gone, and was replaced with stress and an overwhelming schedule. I had no time or energy to enjoy Christmas when it arrived, because I was too tired from getting ready for it.

It became clear that I needed to simplify Christmas so I have energy to enjoy it, and room to focus on why we are doing all of this on the first place.

Cutting out the turkey dinner was a great first step, but I needed more ways to eliminate the busyness.

My Christmas stress comes from three places: buying gifts, baking, and so many gatherings and events that I don’t have downtime in between.

I decided to make a strict rule that we would be done shopping by December 1 this year, and it has made the biggest difference. This is happening every year from now on, because it’s something I can control, and it is wonderful to have all our gifts taken care of by December.

Same goes for baking. I shared on social media about how I’m skipping the Christmas baking completely this year, but for next year, the baking will happen very early.

As I made these important deadlines for myself, I realized that I have been cramming all three of the most stressful parts of Christmas into the first three weeks of December! What a horrible idea!

This seems like something I should have figured out years ago, but the problem was I used snow as my motivation. I wanted to feel Christmas-y when I got ready for Christmas, and I don’t feel that way until it snows. But if it happens to be a year with hardly any snow before Christmas, I put off getting things done. I am placing my enjoyment of celebrating the birth of Jesus in the hands of the weather. That seems irresponsible and unpredictable.

I need a new motivation. I can motivate myself to get ready for Christmas early because I want to work first, so I can play later. It has nothing to do with when it snows. It has to do with earning my relaxing Christmas by finishing the work ahead of time.

So next year, I will start early, independent of when it snows, and I will remember that I can’t do everything at once, so I will start early enough that I’m not cramming it in during the busiest stretch.

Except there is no busy stretch this year. Covid took care of the busy schedule for me, and while I am enjoying how relaxed it feels, it’s a good reminder that Christmas without people to celebrate with feels empty. When all the gatherings come back next year (hopefully!), I will be thankful for the perspective this Christmas has given me.

What do you enjoy most about Christmas now?

Happily, my work from the first question has paid off, because I realized this year that what I’m looking forward to most is our Hot Chocolate Party! I love it more than Christmas day itself, and it makes sense, because it includes all the magic from my favourite childhood moments.

Opening presents on Christmas morning feels a bit weird to me, but that’s one of Ben’s meaningful Christmas memories, and I’m happy to get on board with it. Our Hot Chocolate Party is a great way to make sure I get my cozy Christmas-y evening, and he gets his exciting morning. We all get our favourite kinds of Christmas moments wrapped up into one holiday. ❤️

And now I’m really curious how you would answer these questions! What are your best/worst Christmas moments, and your favourite childhood memories?

Decluttering Our Closet

One of my absolute favorite things in life is problem solving. I get gleeful when I find a solution to something that’s not working quite right in our home. I will think and think and think about it until I figure it out. It helps to be married to someone who is great at solving problems in a totally different way than I am. I’ll think for hours about something, whereas Ben will throw out wild, crazy ideas off the top of his head, and some of them are just too wild and crazy to be of use, but some jolt me out of the rut I’m stuck in, and give me a few more hours’ worth of material to mull over. I love mulling.

My latest problem to solve was in our closet. We have a massive closet, which is interesting since it’s my goal to own as few clothes as possible, without getting completely bored of my options. We simply do not need all that space, but you know what happens with space? We fill it. It’s so easy to get careless when there’s so much room to spread out, and I’ve been getting lazy with how I’m storing things.

I walked into my closet the other morning and thought, “This is stressful and unappealing. I want a pretty closet.” When I expressed this desire to Ben, he said blankly, “I never think about stuff like that.”

“I do,” I replied. “Our closet is ugly.”

He said, “I think you spend a lot more time in our closet than I do. I just go in and get my clothes.”

“That’s all I do, too, but I still think it’s ugly,” I told him.

So I stood in our closet and stared really hard at everything to figure out what the problem was, and suddenly it hit me: Everything making a mess could either be gotten rid of, or stored somewhere else. My goal was a bare, beautiful dresser, and zero clutter. And maybe some pretty pictures on the wall, eventually….

I started hauling things out. It has made the hugest difference for me. I can’t wait to go in there each morning, because that wide open space is peaceful and soothing to my soul. Three kids can produce astonishing amounts of clutter which I find difficult to keep under control, but they don’t mess up my closet, so this space stays as clean as I keep it.

Those piles cluttering up my dresser sat there for five years, and I never once thought it would be possible to get rid of them. They needed to be there. Except they didn’t, and I can’t believe, once again, how awesome it feels to ditch the clutter, pare down the belongings, and simplify.

I stand in the doorway to our closet and just look at it. I made Ben look at it, too, and he was moderately impressed, but I don’t know if he would have noticed if I hadn’t forced him to admire it. But that’s fine – I did it for me.

It makes me curious what other clutter areas are completely unnecessary, if I can only figure out how to think outside the box. Now I need to go make the rest of my house look as clean as this closet.;)

What do you think – is there any clutter in your house you’ve believed you NEED, but maybe you don’t?!

 

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Goal Accomplished!!

Guess what happened this weekend??!!

I reached my goal of decluttering 2015 things in the year 2015!!

At the beginning of the weekend, I needed to find 78 things to get rid of, and I felt a little unsure that I would still have that much left to purge.

I had saved all of the girls’ things until the end, so on Saturday, we took the morning to conquer the play room.

I shouldn’t have worried about reaching my goal!! Instead of 78 things, we got rid of over 200! They amazed me! It’s hard to purge with kids, but they did awesome. I’d pull out a bin, dump it, and hold up one item at a time. If it was something they loved, we kept it. But there were so many toys they really didn’t care about! And the best part was how they could see for themselves that purging left more room to enjoy the toys they really like to play with.

This is what I’ve found over and over again for myself – get rid of the junk so you can fully enjoy what remains.

Now I feel torn – do I stop purging for the year, and start again in January with the goal of 2016 things in 2016, or do I keep going strong until the end of December to see how far past my goal I can get?! What do you think?

How Decluttering Leaves More Room For Love

Friends, I have 450 items to get rid of in order to reach my purging goal for the year: 2015 in the year 2015!

I am very excited, and also a bit dismayed. How in the world do we have so much junk in our house??!!

My home doesn’t look that full or messy. It’s usually quite clean and tidy, because clutter makes me grumpy. And I’ve always had a donations box on the go, for items I came across that we no longer needed. But even so, I have been able to get rid of 1565 items without any trouble.

I notice that our home is a little easier to keep tidy. There’s more room in some drawers. Our basement looked fairly awesome…until Ben started finishing it, and now it’s under construction, which would not have been possible if we hadn’t gotten rid of so much stuff.:)

But the sad truth is that I could probably do this whole thing over again and get rid of 2016 things in the year 2016. So much stuff!!!

Even though I was expecting my home to look emptier and a lot more minimalist, I am still completely thrilled with the results, and I’m not about to stop purging anytime soon. It’s addicting, freeing, and I feel so much lighter when I think of all the boxes we have sent out the door. I’ve probably made a few hundred dollars on our town’s Buy and Sell Facebook page. (I kept track in the beginning, but lost count after awhile.)

I think the best part, though, is that I love my stuff that remains. I’ve gotten rid of the junk that made me feel guilty or burdened, and I just feel happy with the things that are left.

In her book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, Marie Kondo writes a lot about only keeping things that spark joy. It’s not even about the things we actually use – it’s about how those things make us feel. I might use things I don’t like at all, out of obligation or guilt. Or I might have something I rarely use, but I really love it and it makes me very happy the few times I am able to make use of it.

When we get rid of all the things we don’t love, it leaves wonderful things behind, with more space and freedom to enjoy them.

THAT is the best thing I have learned this year.

Also…I love this blog post: “Clutter builds up when we stop making decisions about our stuff.” 

“Rather than choose which wrapping paper we like most, we buy all 13 rolls in a jumbo package. Rather than donate clothing that no longer fits, we hang it back up “in case I need it.” Rather than recycle back issues of a magazine, we stick it on the shelf to read “later.”

It’s those items — the ones that we don’t use or love or need — which slowly fill our closets and drawers, our garages and attics.

Those are the items that make it hard to see the painting on the wall that you do love, hard to find your one snuggliest pair of ski socks, hard to clear off the table to share a meal with the people you love.”

So true.

And very motivating for my final purging push – 450 more things gone by Christmas!

Want to join me?!

 

Weekend Purging Challenge

I’m stuck.

Remember how I made it my goal to get rid of one item a day this year? And then, that was so easy, I decided to get rid of 2015 things in the year 2015?

It’s been going awesome – until April. Don’t know what happened this month, but I’m stuck at 950 items purged. My dream for this weekend is to break 1000, but I don’t know if it will happen….

My problem is that I’ve done all the easy stuff. I’ve gone through the whole house, except for the girls’ toys. I’m saving that battle for a little later on in the year – build up my stamina!

We’ve cleaned out our basement, which feels amazing.

Ben built shelves, and we’re just waiting for warm weather to clean out the garage, and take a load to the dump.

But now it’s time to get to the harder stuff. I’ve gotten rid of the obvious things that we never use, but now I need to focus on the stuff we use only very occasionally, and could probably live without. I can’t believe that our house can still look so full, even after getting rid of 950 things!

Alright, who’s going to join me?! Fifty things purged this weekend!!

Three Things I’m Learning From Purging

Remember how I told you back in January that it was my goal to get rid of one item a day in 2015, because getting rid of 365 things in a year would be awesome?

Well. Things are going a bit differently than planned….

I’ve gotten rid of 573 things in two months.

I am having so much fun! It feels awesome, and I have every intention to keep going. Suddenly, 2015 items in the year 2015 doesn’t sound quite so impossible anymore.;)

As each load goes out the door to the thrift shop, I feel lighter, freer, and happier! There’s just one thing that disturbs me:

We haven’t missed anything.

This bothers me, because it means that 573 completely useless items have been sitting around our house, unused. We don’t even notice that they’re gone, other than the fact that our house looks neater and less cluttered. How much more could I get rid of without even feeling it?? And I haven’t even started on our basement or garage, where we store the majority of our stuff that doesn’t get used regular. Those 573 items are “everyday” things that I’ve found in our kitchen, living room, bathrooms, and master bedroom. I still need to tackle a bunch of closets, and the girls’ room.

But our walk-in closet is looking fantastically empty. I love going in there! Sometimes I just stand at the doorway and look in admiringly….

As I’ve gleefully purged for the last two months, I’ve noticed my thought process changing. I’m learning some great things which I hope will stick with me:

1) Purging is a mindset.

Getting rid of at least one item a day means that I am continually thinking of what to get rid of. I used to think of purging as an event, instead of a daily habit. I thought I needed to set aside a large chunk of time, and do it all at once, which I would never have time for at this point in my life.

Last month, a friend asked me, “How do you have time for purging, with a newborn?!” When I thought about it, I realized how fast it is to grab an item here or there.

It’s always on my mind, so when I’m in the bathroom getting ready in the morning, or making supper, or doing laundry, I’m always asking myself these questions:

What do I need to keep? How much can I get rid of?

When I evaluate what I truly NEED on a regular basis, it becomes obvious how much excess we have.

2) Clear, open space is beautiful.

I was surprised how difficult it was for me to have completely empty drawers and shelves! It seems like wasted space – I should be filling them! But why? Why can’t I have empty cupboards in my kitchen?

I was going to get rid of some more books in our living room bookshelves, but caught myself thinking, “If I get rid of anymore books, our shelves will look too empty!”

Wait, what?! That’s a good thing! The bookshelves don’t need to be crammed full! The bathroom counter can be completely empty. Our closet doesn’t need to be full of clothes.

The emptier, the better. I just needed to get used to it.

3) Change is a good thing.

There have been many things I was tempted to keep out of habit. But when I think about it, a lot has changed even in the three years since we moved into this house. I decorate differently, I dress differently, I cook differently. I like different things at different times in my life, and it is right and good to get rid of things that have served their purpose, and now we are done with them.

I thought that having a lavender plant in our bathroom would be a lovely idea, but when I looked at it with fresh eyes, I had to be honest and admit the lavender plant was outrageously ugly. You can’t imagine the relief I felt when I chucked it out.

I can change my mind! No, I didn’t wear that mint green shirt. Ever. It seemed like a good idea when I bought it, but I wasn’t thinking about the fact that mint green shirts clash with olive skin tones. Why would I keep it??!

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573 items gone feels awesome. If I keep this up all year, I can’t imagine how fantastic that will feel!

And guess what – it’s totally contagious! I had a nap on Saturday afternoon, and when I woke up, I asked Ben what he’d been doing. He was downstairs, purging! There’s an impressive pile of his stuff ready to ship off to the thrift shop!

But no matter how much stuff I get rid of, more things trickle in. The girls will keep bringing papers home, we keep getting new clothes, life keeps going, and so there will just always be more stuff.

I have often purged in the past, but it’s amazing how stuff continually builds up.

When I’m done with purging this year, will we have enough stuff to do it all over again?! We shall see….

Purge Party 2015

Oh, I am so addicted to purging, you guys! The more stuff I get rid of, the more I want to get rid of! Why is this so much fun??!

Here’s how it all began:

I don’t usually make New Years’ Resolutions, but on December 31st, I was reading some blog posts…

The first one I read was about making ridiculously easy resolutions to guarantee success – if you aim low, you have a better chance of making your goals! At first I thought this sounded a bit lazy, but by the end of the article, I was beginning to think he was onto something!

The reason mini habits work so well is that they are simple and easy to implement. Otherwise, like with other strategies, when we have a bad day, get overwhelmed, or run out of willpower, we’ll drop our goal and lose our progress.

If you ultimately want to get fit, aim for one push-up a day, every day. You may always do more than that, but never less. Mini habits have no ceiling, so do as much as you want when motivation is high.

But what happens when you aren’t motivated at all? No problem. Mini habits allow you to succeed even on your worst day. I’m going to repeat that because it’s important. Mini habits allow you to succeed even on your worst day. The low bar to action is a safety net to allow remarkable consistency. (How to Change Your Life With Mini Habits)

So I was still chewing on the idea of mini habits when I moved on to another blog post – the author was committing to getting rid of 2015 objects in 2015! I thought the idea was completely amazing, but TOTALLY IMPOSSIBLE!!!

With a new baby, I knew there was no way I could commit to something that crazy.

But that was the moment when the two blog posts collided: I could do a mini habit! Purging one item a day seemed reasonable. And while I was at it, I could always purge more than one item, if I felt inspired. But getting rid of 365 objects in a year would be awesome!

My first day, I got rid of 20 things instead of just one! It was so easy to keep going, once I got started! It became a fun challenge for me each day, as I tried to think of more and more objects we don’t need or use, and would never miss.

There have been a few days when I only got rid of one item, but most days, I do a lot more than that! I’ve been doing this for 21 days, and I’ve gotten rid of 123 items! They’re sitting by the door, ready to be taken to the thrift store! Ben is worried that I’ll run out of things to purge long before the end of the year, but I keep thinking of our garage, and all the boxes in our basement. I’m pretty sure I’ll be kept busy for a long time! It is amazing how easy it is to find stuff that we never use. Ben was going to build shelves in our basement for storage, but I have a better idea – let’s just get rid of everything!

I loved this post on getting rid of things, rather than organizing them: The Secret to Getting Organized

I’m finding this to be true, over and over again. I was thinking of buying more dividers for a kitchen drawer so that I could find cooking utensils more easily, but when I went through the drawer a couple of weeks ago, I realized I didn’t use a bunch of the utensils anyway, and with them gone, I can easily find what I’m looking for, no extra organization needed!

I’m having so much fun, I actually think about this when I’m falling asleep at night, or driving somewhere, or feeding Everett. I mentally go through my closets and think about new areas to conquer. Imagine a house with only the things in it that you love and use and need! How light and free would that feel?!

And guess what – 2015 items in 2015 doesn’t look nearly as impossible! I’m not making it my goal (yet!), but we’ll see what happens!;)

 

Wearing Stuff Out and Using it Up

This post is part of a series called “35 Days of Favorites”, in honor of my 35th birthday. You can read more about the details here…

I’ve been a little too blessed in this life.

I’ve always lived with a lot of excess, and haven’t ever needed to learn how to squeeze absolutely all the life available out of the things I use and own.

I’ve gotten rid of clothes because I was tired of them, not because they were worn out. I’ve sent loads and loads of perfectly good belongings to the thrift shop because I wasn’t using them, and they were simply lying around my house, taking up space.

I’m so tired of excess.

I don’t know what brought on the need for change. Maybe it started with this clothing revelation, and just grew from there.

Maybe it came from the stuff I was reading.

Or from moving yet again, and getting tired of hauling around all of the useless, random stuff we owned.

Whatever the case, it’s time to do things differently, but I think this skill of using less will take awhile to learn. This past year, it was my goal to start cutting back.

To start with, I’m trying to own only as much clothing as I actually use. For example, I own two hoodies now instead of five, and I just recently had to buy a new one, because one of my old ones was so worn out, it was only fit to be used as a rag.

I own two pairs of good jeans, and keep one old pair for emergencies. I buy a new pair when I get the inevitable hole in the right knee. (Why always the right, specifically??!)

I’m trying to keep less food in our pantry, and only one kind of salad dressing in our fridge!

I packed away half the girls’ toys, and they are just as happy as ever with what they have.

And our most recent accomplishment: Driving our van until it died.

It sounds kind of dumb, but it was a victorious moment. We limped along for a long time, knowing that the end was near. And then one day, we took our van in to have a problem repaired, and were told that it would cost $900 to fix, but the vehicle was only worth $1000. If we chose to fix it anyway, another $900 of repairs were predicted within the next few months.

We bought a new vehicle because we didn’t really have a better choice, and it felt good.

There sits our van, waiting to be picked up. She’s done well, and carried us many, many miles!

I still shop too much, waste too much, and think I need too much, but I’m working on it.

And every time any of my belongings legitimately wears out, and must be replaced out of necessity, it makes me feel good inside.

I would like to feel this way more often.

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Any helpful purging, “living with less” tips out there? How intentional are you about wearing something out before replacing it? Anyone else struggle with balancing “need” versus “want”?

Tips For Purging

I am in pursuit of a simple, joyful life.

Lately, I’ve been achieving this through purging. Who knew there could be so much magic in the act of purging?!

I wrote a post on Friday about how purging is changing the way I feel about my life, but since then, I’ve been thinking there’s a lot more to be said about the topic.

Getting rid of stuff can be hard to do. It can be even harder to get your family on board, so today, I’m going to share with you a few of the practical tips I’ve been using to help my family purge along with me!

1. Provide physical evidence of what items do not get used.

Toys – I used to think our girls played with all the toys they owned. Maybe not all the time, but we don’t have tons of toys, and surely they would miss some of those fantastic toys if I just got rid of them.

Just to be sure, I put the toys to the test. I arranged a number of toys in a corner of our living room where they would be easily accessible, and over the next few days, I watched to see which ones my girls grabbed first. After a week, there were some that had never been touched. Out they went! The girls never even noticed.

Clothes – A few years ago, Ben needed a little enlightenment. He was CONVINCED that he truly did wear all of his clothes in our closet. I was pretty positive he didn’t.

I had read in some organizing book that a simple way of testing this is to turn around all of your hangers so they’re hanging “backwards”. On laundry day, when you’re hanging up all the clean clothes, turn the hanger back so it’s hanging the way it normally does, and after a few weeks, you’ll have a pretty good idea, from the direction of your hangers, which items are not being worn.

I did this without telling Ben. He noticed the hangers looking a little funny, but never thought any further about it, and I never said anything. After a few months, I finally told him my little secret, and convinced him to get rid of almost all of his unused clothing. (Some really dressy stuff just isn’t used regularly, but we still needed to keep it.)

And apparently, we absolutely need to keep the sports jersey collection from around the world. Even if they aren’t worn, like…ever.

2. Get rid of things in stages.

A Box of Extras – Some things are just hard to get rid of. I get that. But it doesn’t mean they should be kept. For myself, I’m finding that if I don’t purge until it hurts a bit, I’m probably not getting rid of enough.

But sometimes, you just can’t let go. Ben has a navy fleece hoodie he really doesn’t wear, but he is unwilling to part with it. He believes a day will come when that hoodie will be the only article of clothing which will perfectly suit his needs.

And that’s fine. It’s his clothing, and I’m not going to bully him into getting rid of it. But he is okay with me putting a box on a shelf in our closet marked “Ben’s Extra Clothing”, where he can pull it out if he needs to. He’s agreed that if he hasn’t used the clothing in that box one year from now, we can get rid of it at that point.

I use the same method for our bathroom. I have a bin in our linen closet for items I’m not sure if we need, so we’ll wait for awhile, and if, in a few months, we haven’t taken anything out, I’ll feel okay about getting rid of everything.

The Second Sweep – I had already gone through our closet within the last six months, and there were some items I knew deep down I didn’t really use, but I just wasn’t ready to part with them. I left them in the farthest corning of the closet, rather than getting rid of them.

This time, I’m ruthless. It all goes. And somehow, something’s changed in the last six months. I almost got rid of stuff last time, and this time I’m actually able to let go. (Good grief, you’d think we were talking about something important here, but it’s just clothes! Still, it can be really hard!)

I thought it was just me, but then I read this blog post about going over things a second time, to get rid of even more. And that’s okay! Whether it’s a box to save for later, or going through things a second time, it’s okay to take some time to sort things out. Do what you need to do.

3. Get rid of the guilt.

Gifts – The most common reason I keep things is because of guilt. What if the person who gave me this item asks about it? (Do they ever?) What if they happen to see it at the thrift store I bring it to? (Seriously, what are the chances of that actually happening? Bring it to a thrift store far away from them!)

What I’ve come to realize is that whether the item was a gift or not, it’s still just STUFF. That person gave me stuff. Why? Because they love me, and wanted to express it in physical form. They wanted to bring pleasure to my life with an act of thoughtfulness and kindness.

And that is wonderful. I will bask in the kindness of receiving a gift from someone who loves me. I will focus on the intent behind the gift given. If I need  it and can use it, I will certainly do so.

If I  can’t make use of it, I will still be grateful for their thoughtfulness…and then I will send the gift to the thrift store. That may sound a little harsh, but for the sake of letting go of guilt and objects I do not need or want, I am choosing to think about the feelings behind the act of giving, rather than the object given.

Mistakes I Purchased –  I should not have bought that shirt. It fits funny. We did not need that popcorn popper, seeing as we never eat popcorn. I thought we might start eating it, but we didn’t.

I keep stuff because I think I should be using it.

No, I shouldn’t. We use what we use. I should not have to force myself to use our stuff. IT IS STUFF. If we haven’t used it yet, there’s an extremely good chance we never will. Get rid of it.

For some good reading on the emotions we attach to the things we own, read this post.

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And what if I suddenly realize we need an item we no longer have because I got rid of it?

Well, in all my years of moving and purging and simplifying, I don’t even remember it happening, until this last week! Anika came home from Awana and announced that she needed to wear green for St. Patrick’s Day this week.

Her only green shirt was in one of the eight boxes I had packed up to send to the thrift shop.

I had two choices – go through all those boxes (Please don’t make me!!), or buy a new green shirt for Anika.

But then I thought a little longer, and realized I had a few more options – she could borrow one from a friend, or I could look through a boxful of clothes that are a size too big for her, and waiting to be used next year. For one night, she could wear a shirt a size too big.

And guess what – there was a green shirt!! I was saved from the first two options, thank goodness!!

Moral of the Story: If you get rid of something you later end up needing, you might be able to find a way around it. It will just take some effort and creativity, but is that so bad?

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Your turn! I am eagerly awaiting any purging tips you care to share!

What I’m Learning As I Purge Our House

There was a time in my life when I moved at least once a year. It was during those college years, and the years of being newly married, before Ben and I finally built our little house in Niverville.

During that stretch of time, I didn’t have a lot of junk. I used what I owned, and I got rid of the rest. Moving is very handy that way.

But during the times when we’ve stayed in the same place for a number of years, and added a couple of kids to our family, oh my word, is it ever easy to store up stuff!!

STUFF! Tons of it is so unnecessary.

So as our moving day is approaching, I’m purging away like crazy, and I have lots of time to think while I’m emptying drawers and packing up boxes of belongings I do not wish to belong to anymore.

Here are some of the things I’m learning while getting ready to move again:

1. The less stuff I own, the happier I am.

I always think that shopping and getting new things is fun and exciting. But how long does the excitement last? (And how shallow is that excitement, anyway?!)

I’m finding that when I own less stuff, I get rid of guilt in my life over things I shouldn’t have bought in the first place, or don’t use because I don’t like it but feel that I should be making use of it.

For example, I read somewhere that we only wear 15% of the clothes we own. That’s a pretty small amount of clothing. I think I need lots of clothing so I will have lots of variety, and not get tired of my clothes, but then I only end up wearing my favorite stuff, anyway.

So I got rid of all the clothing I don’t actually like and never actually use, and it feels wonderful. You would not believe the joy I receive when I open our closet, and see only my favorite things in there. Pure happiness.

2. The more I get rid of, the less I feel like shopping.

All the effort of sorting and purging makes me think twice about buying more stuff. When I think about how much money I spent on all that stuff, and now it’s just getting shipped off to MCC, it seems like a very big waste.

When I choose to buy something, I am spending money on it, I’m spending energy on it by shopping for it, and then organizing it, and finally getting rid of it.  It would be better not to buy so much stuff in the first place.

To read more on that topic, check out this fantastic blog post.

3. There is a very fine line between owning stuff, and having it own you.

I want to have things. I want to own things. I look at stuff on Pinterest, and it is very beautiful. I go to the mall, and suddenly, I am very convinced that I must own all of those wonderful new things that will make me appear more stylish and trendy and rich. (It sounds so ugly, but let’s just get it all out there, shall we?)

But then I come home, and all of my stuff controls how much time I have to spend cleaning and organizing. My stuff takes up room in our house and in my head. I didn’t actually realize it until I started getting rid of it. When there is no guilt about items I’m not using, and there are no objects to clean around, and the girls actually play with most of their toys, and I actually like reading all of the kids books in the basket, I wonder why in the world I put up with all that stuff for so long. Now that it’s gone, I can feel the space it left behind – and it’s a very, very good kind of a space.

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Now, I realize that not everybody is actually moving right now, and are therefore not experiencing the same motivation. If you wish you had that same motivation, you could always try the little game Ben and I used to play when we were living in Niverville. We cleaned out our basement one spring, and the question we asked ourselves over and over again was, “If we were moving to Africa, would we keep this?”

Africa, because it needed to be somewhere very far away to make it more dramatic and obvious which items would have to be stored, and which items just WERE NOT WORTH IT!! It worked very well. I highly recommend it.

Wouldn’t it be fun if MCC stores were suddenly swamped with boxes because everyone was “moving to Africa”? 🙂 So much freedom, so much joy.

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For some practical tips on purging, read this post.