The Bible Story That Didn’t Happen

It always amazes me how Bible stories come alive all over again when I’m reading them to the girls from their children’s Bible. The wording will be a bit simplified, or they’ll ask me questions that I need to answer in a way they can understand, and the process of figuring this out makes me focus on details which have slipped through the cracks over the years.

Last week, the story that stuck with me was the one about Jacob and Esau. I’d forgotten this part:

A short time before they were born, God told Rebecca, “You are having two sons, who will lead two peoples. One boy will be stronger than the other and the older one will serve the younger one.”(100 Bible Stories, Miles Kelly)

I’d forgotten that God told Rebecca this before any of it happened. And you know what He didn’t tell her?

“The older one will serve the younger one, which will be a bit tricky to bring about, but I’m pretty sure that you can manage – just scheme and lie to your husband enough that you can trick him into giving the birthright to the wrong son.”

What would have happened if Rebecca would have taken God’s words, and just kept them in her heart? How would the story have been different if she would have left everything up to God, and waited to see how He would bring about this strange prophecy?

And how often am I like Rebecca, trying to “help” God out, and trying to bring things to pass using my own force and imagination, my own ideas of how to get things done?

I slip into thinking that if I don’t do something, I’ll miss out. But this week I’ve been thinking about how there would have been another story for Rebecca and her sons. If Rebecca had simply waited, would there have been a different way to make the older son serve the younger one, without using lies or tricks? Could there have been a pure and godly way to get things done? I’m guessing this story could have turned out completely different if Rebecca would have had a trusting, patient heart….

And as I live my life, how can I learn to wait more on God’s plans and promises? How can I stop planning and scheming, and choose to rest in Him? I want my story to be one of letting go, and trusting Him to work out the details.

 

 

Waiting For Those Cheeks…

So this happened today.

The other day, Kaylia threw her little arms around my big belly, and exclaimed, “I miss you, Baby!”

Then she gave it a hearty smack, and asked, “Did I kiss his cheek?”

When I told her I was pretty sure she had just kissed his bum, she said, “At least I kissed one of his bum cheeks!”

We all keep dreaming of the day when we will actually be kissing his real cheeks!!

Learning to Wait Well

So, it looks like this little guy will not be following in the footsteps of his big sister – Kaylia surprised us by arriving at 36 weeks, so my doctor told us to be ready this time around! Fortunately, the 36th week has come and gone, and Baby is still right where he should be, so this is good.

Really, it’s GOOD!!

I’m trying to convince myself….In my head and heart, I know it is the best for Baby to be full-term before he makes his debut, but in my back, hips, and pelvis, I was quite sure I could handle another preemie!!

Now this whole waiting thing has become a big mental challenge, because we took the doctor seriously when she said, “Get ready!” We have our car seat by the door, we’ve got everybody’s bags packed, we’ve got the hospital snacks ready to go, WE ARE READY!!

But when the doctor checked me last week, and said there was no sign of anything happening anytime soon, I got a bit crabby for a few days. Wait, I’ve been a bit crabby for awhile already – I got crabbier than usual for a few days.

What hit me one night, though, as I sat alone in the dark, after being unable to fall asleep after the fifth trip to the bathroom, is that God knows. He knows the pain I’m in, He knows how hard it is to wait, and yet I’m pretty sure He still wants me to walk through this with joy!

And then I felt ashamed, because there are so many people who are waiting on much, much harder things in life. Silly me, I know that I won’t be pregnant forever, and I know that I’m waiting for something awesome and joyful and miraculous. But it’s so easy to sink into my own discomfort, and focus on the pain I’m experiencing right now, and forget all that other stuff.

I came across a great blog post on learning to wait:

“Over the years, I have learned that waiting on the Lord is one of the most potentially sanctifying (and necessary) aspects of the Christian life….I pray that God will sanctify my impatience.”

So for now, I’m being sanctified! And I’m trying to smile sweetly at ALL the people who ask, “How are you feeling?”

My answer is, “I feel ready to have a baby!!”

In the meantime, we’re already enjoying some really cute laundry….:)

 

Sometimes I’m Not Ready For a Miracle

I came across this quote the other day, about the Israelites wandering around in the desert for 40 years:

Their journey was a journey of liberation. They were being liberated from slavery in Egypt, where they had been dehumanized and exploited, so that their elite Egyptian slave drivers could build their own never-enough system. It was also a journey of discipline. They were learning values on the journey that would form their national character when they finally settled down — so they wouldn’t become either slaves or slave drivers in the future. (Naked Spirituality, Brian McLaren)

That struck me in a profound way, because it describes so well the journey I’ve been on in the last year. I’ve written before about how I’ve been struggling with some health challenges for over ten years. I’ve had people pray over me many times, and I’ve begged and pleaded and cried to God many, many more times myself for a miracle.

A few years ago, I started noticing some small, slow changes, and since then, my health has improved very gradually. Sometimes I would get so impatient. I believed that God could heal me instantly, but it didn’t look as though that was going to be His chosen method, so I tried to be okay with whatever form healing took.

In this last year, things have been changing in ways I never would have imagined. I’ve always struggled with a lot of stress, fear, and anxiety in my life, and a number of different experiences started to open my eyes to the fact that what needed to change, perhaps more than my physical health, was my mental and spiritual health.

God was after my mind and my thoughts. There was much fear in me surrounding my health problems, and I struggled with trying to choose and control what kind of thoughts filled my mind.

Many of my health problems were related to stress, so as God did a new work in my mind, my body followed along.

There is still much room for improvement, but what struck me about the Israelites is this:

If God had brought them straight to the Promised Land, it would have taken 11 days, instead of 40 years. God needed to do a great work in them first.

They weren’t ready for the Promised Land.

Those years wandering around in the desert stripped them of their old identity, and turned them into God’s people.

photo   © 2011   Moyan Brenn , Flickr

 

If God would have given me my miracle right away, and healed my body in an instant, I would have ended up right back in the same place. Thoughts of fear and anxiety would still have enslaved me, and my body would have continued to respond to that.

He’s taking me around the long way, because He is doing a great work in me. He’s making my mind ready for the miracle of healing that is slowly taking over my body.

I also need to be stripped of my old identity.

Oh, how wonderful that He loves us too much to leave us the way we are! He takes us on whatever path we need the most, and gets us to the Promised Land in the perfect way, at the perfect time.

I still have so much to learn, and I continue to hope for more healing in my life, both mental and physical, but I think I’m starting to enjoy the journey. I’m at peace with the fact that there’s some scenery I need to see first, as we go around the long way.

And I don’t believe it’s punishment or hardship to need to go the long way. I think it’s just life. If I can accept that, and if I can soak in each step of this process, there can be joy in God’s timing, instead of impatience.

He’ll get me there, in His perfect timing.

Are you waiting for a miracle? How is God transforming you, as you wait?