I Want to Remember

A few nights ago, I went for a bike ride that ended by the lake. It was the most beautiful evening.

I could not begin to count the number of times I’ve run down to the lake to catch the sunset.

There have been so many different things I’ve wrestled through with God while sitting down there on the dock. I have cried and prayed and rejoiced and marveled at His creation, again and again.

This last time, I drank in that view one more time, and soaked in all that peace and quiet. The waves were lapping at the shore, and I tried to take it all in to the very depths of my being.

I want to take it all with me wherever I go.

What frightens me about moving is that our family might forget – forget what it’s like to live this weird, wonderful, peaceful (but hectic in the summer!) life out here in the woods.

I’m scared we’ll forget what it’s like to go at a slower pace, and what it’s like to breathe in the smell of pine trees, or to walk outside on a snowy day so peaceful and silent, you can almost hear the snowflakes falling.

I wonder how quickly we’ll slip back into “normal” life, and I wonder if we’ll forever be changed by all that has happened.

Right now it feels like I will always remember, but I wonder if it’s kind of like being on vacation – you have an amazing time, but when you come back, normal life sets in so quick, it almost seems like that vacation never happened.

I don’t want the last five years to feel that way. I want our family to adjust well, and I want to love living in Niverville again. But I also want to have changed so much that we can’t ever go back to living the way we did before we came here.

Not that life was so bad back then. It was just very busy, full, noisy, and crazy. Because Ben worked for a church, we were always rushing off to events and meetings and programs. Those were all very good things, but we had no time for some really important things.

Being at camp has taught me to breathe and go slow, to enjoy the view, and to have time for people.

I’ve learned that a quiet half hour down by the lake can do wonders for the soul, and leave me feeling like I’ve been feasting on heavenly things.

Fortunately, the sun still sets in Niverville, too. May the feasting continue!

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