A Short, Honest Answer for the Question “How Are You?”

Pet peeve: When people ask how you’re doing, but they don’t actually want to know. Like those people who call the question over their shoulder as they’re walking away from you, and are obviously not sticking around to hear your answer. That feels inauthentic to me.

So does responding “I’m fine”, when I’m not, but it’s the socially acceptable answer. Usually, I’m the person who will answer the “how are you” question with about 10x more information than anyone wants to hear, because I’ve spent years trying to figure out how to be authentic without sharing way too much information.But recently, I heard an answer which I love. I was listening to a message by Bruxy Cavey, and he was talking about the difference between being honest and being open. He said that honesty is for everyone, but openness is for a close group of trusted friends. Some things just don’t need to be shared with the general public, but everyone deserves honesty.

The answer he gives when someone asks how he’s doing when things are hard: “It’s been a rough week, but I’m processing it with some close friends. Thanks for asking, how are you doing?”The reason he answers this way is because he’s honest about not being fine, but he’s also setting a boundary for how much he’s willing to share, outside of a few close friends, and he quickly shifts the focus of the conversation off himself. Such a great answer.My life has been fairly great since hearing this beautifully authentic response, so I haven’t had the chance to try it out yet, but I’m looking forward to having an option for those times when “I’m fine” doesn’t cut it.

How do you answer the question “How are you doing?” when you’re not doing fine?