Keep on Keeping on

As I was recently thinking about blog posts, I realized it’s been a long, long time since I’ve written anything about health or progress on my big exercise goals I shared last fall. People sometimes ask about my five minute plank, and I feel a little heartbroken when I have to give them the update, which is usually a sign that I need to write about it, cause that’s the way I deal with stuff.

I looked back on my blog to the last time I wrote about it, which was interesting to me, because it was only a few days after the post that I injured myself so badly, I’m still trying to pull out of it. The progress has been painfully slow, and just painful in general, so I stopped saying anything about it, because there wasn’t much to say. A year later, I’m still not sure how much there is to say – no dramatic progress or exciting accomplishments, but here’s the thing: I’ve kept at it for a year without a lot to show. I’ve been thinking about how that in itself is worth a lot.

It’s easy to stay motivated when there’s progress, but when you work and work at something, with little to show for it, the motivation can take a major hit. It’s terribly disappointing to keep putting in the effort, hoping for things to change, waiting for some indication that things are improving, and not getting the results you’re wanting. What do you do then?

Before I injured myself last fall, I had worked my way up to a six minute plank, and I was feeling better than ever. My body was noticeably stronger, and I was feeling confident and excited about reaching my goals. But I ended up hitting my tailbone so hard I couldn’t move for a couple seconds, and it seems that everything in my pelvis, hips, and back is still being pulled out of place. The balance of strengthening these weak muscles is tricky – doing nothing means I won’t improve, and doing too much makes the pain flare up and then I need to backtrack. It’s long and frustrating and annoying.

I’m still able to plank for three minutes, but I’ve had to stay there for an entire year, unable to increase my time, hoping to get to a point where I can continue to work up to my 10 minute goal.

Just in the last month or two, I’ve started to feel some relief from some new things I’ve been trying, and I’m FINALLY able to begin increasing my planking time. I have to go very slowly and carefully, only adding about 10 seconds at a time every couple of weeks, but I’m delighted to be in a place where this is possible.

So how do we keep on keeping on? For me, it’s a combination of lots of prayer, Ben’s encouragement, and words of inspiration! It’s been awhile since I went hunting for quotes about exercise and not giving up, so here’s a good dose of exactly what I needed!

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How do you keep going when things are hard?

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Quote Love

Every couple of months, I like to round up all the best quotes I’ve come across, and share them here. There’s something about combining beautiful images with inspiring words that gets me every time! Here are my latest favourites:

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Any quotes you’ve been loving lately? Please share!:)

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Quote Love

Somehow, it’s been many, many months since I’ve done a favorite quote post, and I’ve got a ton saved up from Pinterest! I love putting these together, because it’s such a great reminder to me of where I want my thoughts headed. I hope you find something in here that does the same for you!

 

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Stuff I Love

A few weeks ago, I was going through a box of keepsakes from high school, and found an old journal full of quotes, poems, and song lyrics that I used to love. It was interesting to read through it and remember how those words inspired and encouraged me. It also reminded me that my love for a good quote started a long time ago! Now I just save them differently.;)

It’s been awhile since I’ve done a quote post, so here are a few of my recent favorites:

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Have you read any good quotes lately?

Quoting Ben

Both my mom and my mother-in-law often ask if I’m remembering to write down all the funny things our girls say, and I do. But I’ve also started writing down the funny things Ben says. Between the three of them, we have a lot of funny moments in our home. (With Everett’s goofy personality already showing strong, I have no doubt I’ll be laughing for many more years to come!!) Ben has taught them well…

Today is Ben’s birthday, so in honour of my favorite person to laugh with, I share with you some of his best moments from this last year:

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While reading an article about how my personality type interacts with Ben’s personality type in a marriage relationship:

Me: “This article says we have an effortless relationship, and I’m drawn to your positive energy.”

Ben: “It’s like you are the moth, and I am the flame.”

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On a day when I was feeling a little discouraged and down about myself:

Me: “Tell me something nice about myself.”

Ben: “Your voice is like the caress of 1000 puppies licking my feet.”

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Me: “So my physiotherapist says if I keep clenching my butt muscles while I do squats, I’ll be able to squeeze a penny between my butt cheeks.”

Ben: “Ah, yes, the old penny trick.”

Me: “You talk as though you have experience!”

Ben: “I never saw that penny again…. I don’t like to speak of it.”

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Me: frantically mixing some biscuits so I’ll have something to eat for breakfast.
Ben, coming into the kitchen: “Oh, you’re a good mom!”
Me: “These are for me…..”
Ben: “Oh. I thought you were baking a birthday cake for Anika.”
Me: “Shoot, am I not a good mom after all??!!”
Ben: “Oh, you’re still a good mom, just…not in the way I was acknowledging…at this moment….”

He’s always able to word things so delicately.

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Telling the girls about our first date:

Kendra: “I remember that Daddy was wearing tan pants, and a black and blue sweater with green stripes.”

Ben: “Mommy was dressed in starlight and beauty.”

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Kaylia: “I want to have a Frozen birthday party. I want a Frozen cake, and Frozen cupcakes, and everyone can dress up like Elsa or Anna.”

Me: “How about we don’t have a theme this year? It’s your birthday, not Elsa’s or Anna’s. How about we just celebrate your birthday, without Frozen stuff?”

Ben: ” It’s JFK’s birthday – she could have a JFK-themed party.”

Quoting Kaylia

Well, this has been an interesting week. Anika has been at camp, which is an adventure for her, but we’ve got our own adventures going on here at home, trying to survive without her. This is especially difficult for Kaylia. What’s a girl to do when she’s used to having the best playmate/story-teller/event coordinator/leader/bunk bed buddy around, 24 hours a day, and suddenly, she has to figure out how to spend every day mostly by herself?

Everett & KayliaSo she’s been a bit bored, because Everett spends too much time napping, but she’s definitely taking advantage of being the only child who can talk in our house at the moment. Most sentences begin with, “Mama, guess what?” But really, there’s no guessing what is actually going to come out of her mouth next. I’m usually pretty surprised….

“Did you know that I didn’t breathe for my whole life, until one day I was, like, ‘WHAT IS GOING ON??!!’ Then I took my first breath. That was when I was three.”

“When Anika told me those characters were brothers, I was like, ‘AHHHH!!!!!’ But just quietly, inside my head.”

“I need someone to make sure that nothing falls out of my Lego house while I’m carrying it. Could you be that person?”

“One of the voices I hear in my head is God. Actually, He’s at the top of my head, because He lives up in Heaven. He sits on my head. I can feel how heavy His butt is!” (Ben says he will never feel the same about the presence of God again….)

 

Stuff I Love

Today’s post makes me really happy – all the best quotes I’ve read recently, all in one place. There’s a little bit of everything…:)

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(Favorites: Land of Self Checkout Lanes and Isle of Netflix! I truly love people, but seriously? I need to escape to this island somewhat regularly!!)

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Here’s wishing you a beautiful day – in this place, in this hour, whatever it may hold.

For Anyone Longing to Belong

A few years ago, Anika took her first acting class at the Manitoba Theatre for Young People, and I will never forget what Ben’s mom said when she saw Anika’s first performance that Christmas. She said, “Anika has so much more confidence – she acts like she’s not asking anyone’s permission to be there anymore.”

I sat there for a few seconds as that hit me – I could see that change in Anika myself, but what was sinking in for me in that moment was that I suddenly realized how I’ve spent my whole life waiting for someone to give me the permission to be here.

In some situations, I think I can come across fairly confident, but the truth is that most of the time, deep down inside me, I enter a situation feeling hesitant, and holding back, waiting for someone to draw me in, make me feel included, give me the permission to be there.

I try to hide it as best I can – I never want anyone to know that I’m dealing with insecurity, because I’m embarrassed to be 36 years old, and still struggling with something that seems so junior high-ish. But the truth is, I still carry scars from junior high, when I was told over and over again that I didn’t belong.

But then I get curious – surely I can’t be the only person who feels this way. How many other adults are there, right around me, who also carry some secret, hidden longing to be included, to really feel as though they belong, and there’s a spot for them that will remain a gaping hole unless they fill it?

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A friend told me the other day that she doesn’t understand this struggle. She enters every situation, thinking, “Who WOULDN’T want to be my friend??! I have Jesus in me, and I am an asset to every situation I encounter!”

I love it. I want to be that way. But I think there’s some old, deep-rooted junk that I’ll need to deal with first.

As I’ve been reading the book, Can You Hear Me?, I came across a fascinating exercise:

Picture yourself standing beside Jesus in front of a mirror. Imagine that he’s just exhaled a big gust of steam onto the mirror. If he were to use his fingertip to write a message on the mirror about your true identity, what would he write? Read it.

I decided to give this a try. I spent some time quieting my thoughts, and then I did exactly as the author suggested. I asked Jesus, “What do you want to say to me about my identity?”

Immediately, a word appeared: it was the word belong.

And suddenly, I felt as though this great, deep, consuming hunger and longing overtook me. How I desire to feel as though I belong!

Ann Voskamp once wrote a beautiful blog post about how we can always know we belong, because God longs to be with us – we belong. That’s stayed with me. And it makes me wonder if I’ve spent years being mistaken about my longing.

As we’ve moved from place to place, and I’ve made friends again and again, I keep wanting to feel like I’m home – like I’ve found the place I’m meant to be, and I belong. So I have these huge expectations of what that will look like and feel like, and then I’m disappointed each time, which leads me to wonder if I can really, truly belong.

But what if that hunger for home, that desire to belong, is all just this longing I have to be with Jesus? To be known deeply and fully, and to stop searching and striving, to stop being disappointed when others don’t give me the permission for being here, because it was never theirs’ to give?

I remember reading Psalm 139 over and over again as a teenager –

“You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways….”

There was something in that which spoke to my longing even then. I wanted to be known. I wanted to be searched out, sought after. I needed to be reminded of how He longed to be with me.

My friend, the one who is an asset in every situation, said to me, “What if this whole time, it’s been a lie? What if you’ve always belonged, but you can’t see it, because you’ve been believing a lie?”

It’s true, isn’t it? Since the day I became a Christian, I’ve always belonged to the only One who matters. He knows me, and He goes with me, and I need no other permission to be exactly where I am.

The lie has robbed me, not only of the security that’s been there for me all along, but also from the chance to help others feel it, too. When I spend all of my time wondering if there’s a place from me, I have no room to see the person beside me who’s wondering it, too.

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And so we all need to hang onto the truth that He longs to be with us, He gives us freedom from the lie that we don’t belong, and He gives us the security to go out, and share that truth with everyone around us.

So today, whether this is something you struggle with yourself or not, wouldn’t it be awesome to go out there, and say, “With Christ inside of me, I am an asset to every situation! I have everything I need to give to someone else who is lonely and hurting, and I can cover each person with truth and peace.”

We already have permission!;)