You Can Always Make a Happy Choice

It’s about one year since I started making a “happy list”.

The idea had been in the back of my mind for a few months, but it took awhile until I was ready to commit to actually getting my happy, thankful thoughts down on paper.

Once I started, I loved it. I’ve gotten 1272 blessings listed in my notebook, and I’m still going strong. A minimum of five a night is my goal, but it’s pretty easy to get carried away.;)

Shortly after I started my list, I became aware of how often Anika complained about stuff. I got her going on her own happy list, and it worked beautifully, every time – she transformed before my eyes from a grumpy, sulky-sounding girl into a cheerful, smiling, thankful girl!

Except for one time.

I sent her to her room, told her to come back when she’d listed five things in her Happy Book, and expected the usual transformation. I was extremely confused when she sulked back into the kitchen, and said, “I’m done”, in the same grumpy voice.

I couldn’t understand it. The Happy List had worked every single time before. Was the effect starting to wear off? What had gone wrong?

I grabbed her notebook and flipped to the spot where she’d written, expecting to find that she’d not actually written anything down.

But oh, no. She had written something down. She’d written: “Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing.” Five times.

NO WONDER it hadn’t worked!

I made her write ten things (and helped her out a little bit), and sure enough, the same old transformation occurred. We were saved.

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Just recently, she was having a bit of a rough spot in her day, and the complaining was starting up again. It was rewarded with the opportunity to help me fold a humongous pile of laundry.

(This made the complaining get worse.)

But as we folded laundry together, I started talking to her about the Happy Choice.

I explained to her that in absolutely everything in life, we always have a choice. We can choose to be thankful and have a good attitude, or we can grump and complain.

Laundry is an excellent example. I used to strongly dislike folding laundry. There was so much of it. I would work so hard to fold it all, but after a short time, there it all was again. It felt so pointless.

But somewhere, Ann Voskamp has written, “I forgot that I was washing those clothes for Jesus.”

And if I’m doing laundry for Jesus, it needs to be done cheerfully.

So I made a choice: I chose to think about every single good thing there was to think about folding laundry. Here’s the list I gave Anika:

1. I love having all of my clothes clean and available for me to choose from when I’m getting dressed in the morning. I always wear my favorites right away, so it’s fun when everything is clean.

2. There is nothing like getting into fresh, clean sheets at night.

3. Fluffy, warm towel straight from the dryer are completely wonderful. I bury my nose in them every time.

4. I’m thankful that I have a family who’s wearing all those clothes.

5. I’m thankful that I have a washing machine and dryer to do all the hard work for me.

6. How amazing to have more than enough clothes, towels, and sheets. We are richly blessed.

7. When you think about it, creating order from chaos can be pretty fun. There is great satisfaction in making that crazy laundry pile disappear into neatly folded stacks, all ready to be put away.

Somewhere around number three of this list, Anika started smiling, and helping me think of things to add. We ended up having a wonderful talk over laundry, and later on at supper, when our family always lists “Favorite Things of the Day”, folding laundry together was a favorite for both of us.

In her book One Thousand Gifts, Ann Voskamp writes,

“The discipline of thanks only comes with practice.”

Find thanks in the little things, the stuff that’s easy to be joyful about, and work up the strength to be thankful in the big things.

What are some practical ways in which you are choosing joy? Any tips for teaching kids how to choose it, too??

34 Days of Favorites: Counting Blessings

While I was lounging around in Florida this last winter, I shared with you how I was enjoying Ann Voskamp’s book, One Thousand Gifts.

This book has been everywhere in the last year. You see it on countless Christian women’s blogs. You hear about it in churches. You see it advertized on every Christian bookstore flyer that comes in the mail.

Because it’s amazing. It really is. That book has truly earned it’s popularity.

After reading it in January, I joined thousands of other people in the spiritual discipline of listing daily gifts and blessings God gives to me. I wasn’t sure what to expect. I hoped it would be as wonderful, dramatic, and life-changing as what the book seemed to suggest, but I didn’t know.

As I sit here typing this post, my list is up to #954. And it has been just wonderful.

It has made me more aware of the blessings that were there all along.

I’ve had to specifically choose positive thoughts and attitudes.

I’ve learned that everything in life can be viewed in a thankful way, with enough effort and creativity.

Shortly after I began my list of blessings, I became aware of how often I was having to remind Anika to change her own attitude, and stop whining or complaining. Day after day, we were dealing with the same issues, and what I was doing to help her change…was not helping.

One day, I started praying (should have thought to do it much sooner!), and asked God for some brilliant insight as to how Anika’s attitude could be changed.

And suddenly, it hit me – Anika needed her own “Happy List”.

I got out a little notebook, and when Anika started complaining, I sat her down, explained what we were going to do, and asked her to list five things she was thankful for.

She couldn’t do it. She didn’t know how to choose to change her thoughts from grumpy to thankful.

So I had to teach her! I got out my own notebook, and started reading my list to her. She loved hearing what I’d written down, and was more open to coming up with her own list afterwards. I gave her some prompts, and she verbally listed five things she was thankful for.

The most amazing thing happened as she did it – I saw her attitude transform before my eyes. Her voice and facial expression completely changed, and it was incredible to watch.

Six months later, we’re still using the Happy Book! Most of the time, it only takes five thankful thoughts for her to change her attitude, but every once in a while, I have to send her back to her room to come up with five more. (I can always tell by her voice if she’s truly ready to proceed with a good attitude!)

I love it because it works so well, but also because I’m instilling a habit in her. She may not continue this habit for the rest of her life…but she might! I am teaching her to choose her thoughts – to take every thought  captive. I get excited when I think about how this ability could shape her future!

I know that for myself, it is a habit I hope to carry on for many years to come.

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Okay, for comments today, let’s do something fun and have everybody share one thing they’re thankful for! Or more than one – once you get going, you might not want to stop!

(To read more about “34 Days of Favorites”, go here.)

God is Longing For My Freedom

Freedom has been on my mind recently.

I posted recently about some of my past experiences with spiritual warfare, but I’m feeling the need to share what I am presently experiencing. Because it’s been bothering me so much, I’m thinking I must not be the only one, and it’s an important message to share.

But I like sharing in past tense better. I guess my pride likes to make it sound as though I don’t struggle with stuff anymore. Ha! We’ll remedy that by being painfully honest here…

The truth is, I’ve been challenged over and over and over again this past winter to gain control over my thought life. You may have noticed the theme of “worry” coming up often on my blog, the reason being I struggle with fear and anxiety and worry running away with my thoughts so often, you’d think I’d be exhausted and sick of it.

Actually, I am. I was reading books about it, praying, and struggling through it, trying to fight the good fight against all those thoughts, without feeling like I was making much progress.

One night my emotional upheaval reached such a climax, it suddenly struck me that I was feeling completely frazzled, worried and stressed….without a single reason for it. I tried to think of why I was feeling so incredibly worried, and my mind kept trying to come up with a reason for being worried.

That scared me. Searching for a reason to be worried? That’s just out of hand.

When I described to Ben how I was feeling, he immediately said, “We should pray about it.”

Oh. Good idea. Funny how I didn’t think about doing that….

So he prayed, and immediately, it was as if a weight was lifted off me. I felt completely different.

I wish I could say it lasted forever. But that’s not how it went.

Sometimes, the worries and fears build up until they almost overwhelm me, and I pray like crazy to fight them back down.

And then things go back to normal, and I slack off, thinking it’s all fine, and then it all comes back. Part of me wants to get discouraged about it, but part of me knows (from experience) that I need to keep at it, it takes time, but it will get better.

I want to get stronger mentally. I want to be able to take every thought captive. But that doesn’t happen overnight. So I keep plugging away.

I went for a walk last week, and as usual, spent all my time looking up to the tips of those evergreens. It doesn’t matter how heavy my spirit feels, when I look way, way up to those tree tops, I feel like my soul flies high and free.

As I walked along, with my soul flying, some words came back to me from a new Beth Moore book I started – Breaking Free.

God always cares more for our freedom than even we do. He initiated the saving relationship between the people and the Liberator. “I have surely seen the affliction of my people which are in Egypt, and have heard their cry by reason of their taskmasters; for I know their sorrows” (Exodus 3:7) God is intimately acquainted with the sorrows and suffering that result from slavery. He also has a remedy. He is the meeter of our needs….Christ sets us free by the power of His Spirit; then He maintains our freedom as we learn to live from day-to-day in the power of His free Spirit.”

I walked and thought over and over, “God cares more for my freedom that I do. God cares more…” Praise the Lord, He pursues me. That boggles my mind.

I so desperately want to be free, and to be strong in the joy of Jesus, and I fight, and strive, and beg God for it. But sometimes I forget that He wants it more for me that I do.

I read somewhere that this struggle is what’s meant by “working out your salvation”. We need to learn to live from day-to-day. Our human nature tells us it’s better to worry, fear, and be anxious. That sounds plain ridiculous, and yet it’s the age-old lie of Satan’s that we fall for every time we sin. As if anything could possibly be better than God’s glorious, right way!

Ann Voskamp writes,

Sometimes, too often, I don’t want to muster the energy. Stress and anxiety seem easier. Easier to let mind run wild with the worry than to exercise discipline. (p. 147, One Thousand Gifts)

Really, you could put any sin in there. It’s always easier to give in to the areas of weakness. Often, we even see the weakness as freedom. Who wants to burden of changing something we’ve grown comfortable with?

But then the Holy Spirit starts to open our eyes to where the true bondage is, and Ben always tells me this is the first step. I need to feel truly miserable and desperate before I will want to change.

I guess this, then, is the part where I’m working my way past miserable and desperate. I’m slowly rising.

Because God longs for my freedom more than I do.

Because if worry is a sin, and Jesus says “Fear not!” more times than there are days in a year, then surely, these habits, this sin, this bondage, can be overcome.

Finally Accepting One Thousand Gifts

So there’s this little book on the New York Time’s Bestseller List…. Maybe you’ve heard of it?

Actually, it’s huge. It seems to have taken over almost every Christian woman’s blog out there. I bump into it everywhere I go on the internet.

I really wanted to read the book. I was very drawn to the idea of it – recognizing God’s gifts in everyday life and keeping a list. And I love Ann Voskamp’s blog. Plus, the cover looks so pretty. And I love books. I was totally going to read it….someday. I just wasn’t sure when I would get around to it.

But then, a few things happened.

First of all, I read this post by Ann Voskamp.

The two big lessons God has been teaching me in the last year have been choosing to control my attitude and emotions, and getting rid of the habit of worry and fear. When I read that listing your blessings has been scientifically proven to eliminate worry, and increase joy, I decided I needed to start my list of daily gifts from God ASAP, even though I hadn’t read the book.

And then, when I arrived at my parents’ house here in the Florida, there lay One Thousand Gifts on my mom’s desk. I’ve been reading it in snatches here and there, trying to finish it before it’s time to go home. Two chapters left! And my life may never be the same.

So dramatic, hey? But seriously. It’s so good.

Why could this be life-changing?

Well, I love the idea of eliminating the worry and increasing the joy in my life by making a habit of thankfulness. Listing our blessings is a spiritual discipline, and it draws us closer to God. It opens our eyes to all that He is doing, every moment of the day.

Ann Voskamp quotes:

Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world. (Sarah Ban Breathnach, p. 42)

Reverence sounds good. So do everyday epiphanies. I’ll take some of those, please.

But even more than that, I have connected with the idea that when we practice thankfulness in the small things, and practice joy in the easier moments, we are strengthening our ability to thank God in the hard times, as well.

Start small, and an attitude of thankfulness, trust, and worship will grow, until we can accept anything life sends our way with faith and peace, knowing that God is in everything.

I had never considered that something as simple as making a list would help me trust God more. It seems too easy to grab a pen and paper, and have that become the answer to so many of the problems I’ve struggled with my whole life.

And yet, Ann writes,

Do not disdain the small. The whole of the life – even the hard – is made up of the minute parts, and if I miss the infinitesimals, I miss the whole. These are new language lessons, and I live them out. There is a way to live the big of giving thanks in all things. It is this: to give thanks in this one small thing. The moments will add up.(p. 57)

When I go through a time of crisis, I keep looking at the big picture. I fill my mind with thoughts of how I will never be able to make it, and it is much too hard to bear, etc, etc.

Who could possibly learn thankfulness and joy with that kind of mindset? 

But when you break it down into very small, manageable chunks, and surrender each chunk to God, then in that little moment, anything is possible.

So…if you want in on all the wonderful benefits of listing one thousand gifts, you could just start right now, and skip the book, but really, the book is making all the difference for me. Ann Voskamp’s list keeps going long, long after 1,000, and she’s still going strong. She’s like the thankfulness expert. I am loving the glimpse at the way she thinks, and how she searches out joy each day.

I want to search out joy each day. I want to notice the little things, and train my eye to see God in it all.

So inspired, love the book, and excited to see where this is all going to go.

What about you? Have you read it? Do you make a list?