Faith in Living, Breathing Colour

Hey everybody, here’s something new and different! My friend Heather and I are swapping blog posts – my post is over on her blog, and she’s written a post to share with all of you!

I’ve known Heather for a few years through Red Rock Bible Camp. She used to work on staff here, and now she comes back as a guest speaker during the summer or for retreats. I always look forward to her coming out here, because she’s such a fantastic person to talk with – upbeat, encouraging, fun, inspiring, and wise, with a heart that is seeking after God. I read her blog every day, and now you all have the chance to get to know her, too! Check out her blog to hear more from Heather!

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Two months before my wedding my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. Weeks after her diagnosis and first surgery, she was told that because of a genetic strand she carried, she had a 50-80% chance of the cancer returning. This led to four months of chemotherapy and three major surgeries.

Life can change so drastically in just one day. One phone call, one blood test, one surgery later and suddenly everything looks unfamiliar. What does it mean to have faith in the midst of chaos and confusion? What does it mean to trust, when your world has been shaken up, turned around and poured out? The tidy answers I’d always given others struggling seem dried up, empty and clichéd. And yet I knew I had no hope without my faith in God.

“Faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see” Hebrews 12:1 NIV. This verse – one that is preached, taught and spoken so often – takes on a whole new weight in the midst of struggle. It’s one that both encouraged and frustrated me as my flesh and spirit fought over its meaning.

My flesh said being sure and certain of what I cannot see is ridiculous. Reality and truth is what I see – my mom is sick, she is broken and she is suffering! However my Spirit fought back saying, “This is what faith is!”

Faith isn’t seeing your prayers answered; it’s believing they will be even as you wait.  

It is looking into the face of my precious mother laying in a hospital bed, with a dozen tubes, chords and drains hooked up to her and believing that she is healed! Believing for a miracle.

Over the course of her battle with cancer I’ve see many amazing miracles in my mom’s life. But my faith grows most on days when I see my mom weak and sick and when I pray, “God, I believe you are making her strong and healthy”.

Our faith doesn’t grow most when we see miracles, but when we see nothing and still choose to believe that God keeps his promises.  

That is true faith.

Whatever difficult situation you see right now, know that it is an opportunity for your faith to grow.  It is an opportunity to be sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see. It is a chance to say, “God, I truly believe that you are who you say you are. That’s all I’ve got and that’s enough”.

 

Been Thinking About…

Ben has challenged/inspired/encouraged me to try writing one serious post a week. Don’t know if I can, but I’d really like to. He says I could be kind of like Jon Acuff, who has “Serious Wednesday” on his blog “Stuff Christians Like“. And… that’s the only way that I could be like Jon Acuff! Anyway. Here’s something different than parenting and homeschooling and housework that I’ve been thinking about lately:

I’ve been thinking about prayer.

I’ve realized that sometimes, I only pray safe prayers, because I’m not brave enough to pray for miracles.

Sometimes I’ve only asked God for things that I was pretty sure He would give me. That way, I wouldn’t have to be disappointed by Him saying “no”.

I got to a point in my life where I tried to “filter” all of my prayers. I tried to figure out for myself what God’s will was in my life so that when I prayed and asked God for stuff, I was just asking for the things that He was planning on giving me anyway, and I was more likely to get a “yes”.

As I write this, it sounds really dumb, but in all honesty, it’s what I was trying to do, without ever realizing it.

I did it because I was so scared of what would happen to my faith if nothing happened when I prayed.
It happened because I got pretty sick about 11 years ago, and I prayed hard for healing. Many other people prayed for healing for me. I was anointed with oil and all that kind of stuff. And nothing happened.

There was no dramatic healing.

I learned to live with it, and over time, things got better, but it is something that I deal with to this day.

And I didn’t know how to work through that. I prayed with faith. I begged and pleaded with God.

And there was no miracle.

I didn’t want to be ticked off with Him, or lose faith in the power of prayer. So I just stopped asking for things.

But then this last winter, I read something that is changing my life. I read that we should never allow the times God says “no” to keep us from asking Him for miracles in the future.

Our faith in God should not be dependent on how many miracles we receive.

I believe in God. I believe He loves me, and cares for me, and hears me every single time I pray, whether I get everything I ask for or not.

My faith in Him will not change with getting a yes or a no from Him when I pray.

So I’m learning to just ask away! To ask for big things – HUGE things, because sometimes He really wants to give me miracles.

And when He does say “no”, I’m learning not to whine or pout, but to trust Him, move on, and try again next time.

There’s this amazing story about David’s prayers in the Bible. Everyone knows the story about David and Bathsheba, but there’s a part of their story that isn’t talked about so much.

It’s the part where God tells David that although he is forgiven for his sin, he will still have to suffer the consequences. David and Bathsheba’s baby will die.

David begs and pleads with God to spare his child. For days, he doesn’t eat or do anything, other than to beg God to change His mind.

But the baby dies anyway. And the servants are scared to tell David that his child is dead. They say to each other, “If this is how he’s been acting while the child was still alive, what is he going to do when he finds out that the baby is dead?”

They’re expecting a pretty emotional, overwhelming response, and they’re not sure they want to be around for it.

But someone has to tell him, and when David hears the news, he shocks them all.

His response is to get up, bathe, dress, and …go to the house of the Lord to worship. And then he eats a good meal.

And the servants are confused. They don’t understand why he’s doing this.

But David says, “While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, ‘Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me and let the child live.'” (2 Samuel 12: 22-23)

He gets a “no”. His child dies. He accepts it. And he worships God.

I want to be like that. To pray with great spirit, to lay myself bare and vulnerable before God, to ask for anything…and to worship Him even when He says “no”.