My Grey Crown of Glory…

So let’s just publicly state that I really, really dislike dying my hair.

I always knew it would be this way. I come from a long line of women who greyed prematurely. I found my first grey hair when I was in Grade 12. It was a bit of a shock, but really, I was fortunate – it could have been much earlier.

I held off on dying my hair as long as possible, because I knew that my time with my original hair colour was short and fleeting. I started highlighting my hair, because at least the original colour still showed through, but it finally reached the point where I needed to just give in and accept that it was time to dye all of my hair.

That was probably 10 years ago. And you know what? I’m just getting kinda sick of it. Not in a complaining way, but rather in a “I’m starting to question if this is actually a good idea” kind of way.

There are three pictures in my mind that I keep chewing on:

Picture #1:

I was driving down a residential street in Winnipeg one day when I saw a business woman getting out of her car. She was amazingly dressed – very professional and tasteful. She had short, modern hair – kind of edgy and stylish. And her hair was most decidedly grey.

She looked awesome.

As I kept driving, I kept wondering, “Could I pull that off?” I’d need an amazing haircut. I’d need to look like I was doing it on purpose, instead of looking like a shluffy, tired mom who just didn’t care anymore…

Picture #2

I was reading a yoga magazine at my massage therapist’s office, and came across an article about a yoga instructor who stopped dying her hair in order to accept who she truly was. She said she experienced such a huge sense of peace, acceptance, and joy from simply being herself, grey hair and all. She looked so comfortable in her own skin. (And her own hair!)

I started wondering, “How freeing would it be to just…stop? To stop letting society tell me what I need to look like, and just look like who I really am.

Picture #3

I saw this picture posted on my hairdresser’s facebook page:

grey hairsource

It’s stayed with me for months. I think she’s beautiful. In a really weird, totally against what has been culturally acceptable for years kind of way. But if you check out “funky grey hair” on Pinterest, it is amazing what’s out there. Is our culture changing it’s opinion on grey hair?

So who get’s to say what’s acceptable and beautiful? Who gets to tell me that I’m not beautiful if I have too much grey hair at too young an age?

I’ve got Proverbs 16:31 stuck in my head:

Grey hair is a crown of glory; it is gained by living a godly life.

Now, obviously, the woman in that photo did not gain her grey hair by living a godly life. She just made an appointment with her hair dresser.

But why do I keep fighting what God has created my body to do? Every single one of us will end up with grey hair, if we live long enough. What’s keeping me from embracing that? Am I afraid of what people will think? Afraid of aging?

Yes, to both of those….

I showed that photo to Ben and Anika, and the response was quite different. Ben is so easy-going, I could probably shave myself completely bald, and he wouldn’t have an issue with it. Anika, on the other hand, told me she would shave my head bald in the middle of the night if I ever made it look like that. Plus, she pointed out that the woman in the photo was naked, so that settled it for her.

But I’m still thinking about it…..I’ll probably keep thinking for a few years to come, but someday, much sooner than most of my peers, I think you’ll see me finally accepting my “crown of glory”!;)

What are your thoughts on grey hair?!

What’s Beautiful NOW

I was walking past a magazine rack the other day when a title on one of them caught my eye: What’s Beautiful NOW.

Because I need a magazine to let me know?

Because what used to be beautiful is not beautiful anymore?

Because what is considered “beautiful” is changing so fast that I can never keep up?

I kept thinking about that – about beauty that’s constantly changing, and results in the feeling of never being able to measure up.

And the verses that kept coming to mind were from 1 Peter:

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unchanging beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

It seems like every Christian woman anywhere has heard these verses, and they sound great – an unchanging beauty would be very appealing in a world where fashion and styles change constantly and I’m supposed to need a magazine to tell me what is beautiful right now.

But you know what my problem is? First of all, I really like nice clothes and great hair. I want those things. And having two little girls, I want them to look nice, too. And there’s nothing wrong with that, except that it can suck you in so fast that before you know it, priorities are all messed up and I’ve gotten way off track, and it’s time for another reminder that the exterior stuff is not important. It’s just really fun and appealing.

So I go to these verses to get my focus on a beauty that is unchanging, but how do I get it? With a gentle and quiet spirit.

Right. If it said feisty and vocal spirit, that would come much more naturally for me. I’ve always struggled with the words “gentle and quiet spirit.”

When I was younger, I had a friend who seemed to have been born with a gentle and quiet spirit. It kind of drove me nuts, because she was one of those people that was so nice, it seemed to accentuate my own un-niceness. Her voice was naturally very soft and sweet, and I always felt like a loud, aggressive person around her. I badly wanted to be that naturally sweet and quiet.

I’ve been reminded of that over these last few days as I’ve mulled over “beauty right now” versus an “unchanging beauty”. I decided to look up the definition for a “gentle and quiet spirit”, and found that they were described as having a “tranquil spirit”, and a “mildness of disposition.”

Guess what that means? I don’t need a personality change, as I used to think. But when my spirit is filled with the things of Jesus, it will be quiet before Him. I would surrender my will and desires over to Him until I would have a tranquil spirit, even if my voice is not naturally sweet and quiet like my friend’s. It’s not volume, it’s attitude.There’s not just one way to be gentle and quiet – any personality type can be quiet before God, and submit human desires to His.

I don’t have to push my own agenda on people, I don’t need to be aggressive to get my way or prove my point. I need to give that intensity to Jesus, and just focus on Him, to the point where I don’t even care about anything else.

Just Jesus. No silly magazines distracting me!