I’ve been feeling pretty depleted lately. We’re nearing the two week mark since Ben’s been gone, and I’ve been disappointed in myself. I wanted to “rise to the occasion” a little more than I have been.
My parents kindly gave me a much needed break yesterday. I needed to do some laundry, clean up our stuff, clear up the clutter,which usually ends up clearing the clutter in my mind, as well.
When that was done, I was left with one hour to become sane once more.
How do you do that in an hour?
Countless times, I’ve heard about how moms should take a long bath to relax.
I hate baths. If you want to torture me, make me take a bath. I love showers, but not enough to take one in the middle of the day to relax.
I love reading, and journaling, too, but somehow, I just wasn’t in the mood for anything.
So I prayed about it. It went something like this: “God, I need you to fill me up, very quickly. I’ve got one hour. What can I do that will feed my soul, and get me ready to be a good mom again? How can I truly see You in this next hour?”
And then it came to me.
I went out and did this:
I found Jesus outside. I know He’s everywhere, but I’ve always been able to connect best with Him in nature.
And when I bring my camera, I’m forced to find what is always there.
Our perennial spiritual and psychological task is to loom at things familiar until they become unfamiliar again.
After wandering around, really seeing everything again, discovering again how little I know about beauty and God and nature, I also became ready to see my girls again.
Oh, to find joy and unfamiliarity in them. To never take them for granted, and to find joy in mothering, even when there’s too much fighting and whining and missed potty training attempts.
Beauty in everything.
The unfamiliar in the familiar.
Food for my soul, and joy for my heart!
How do you go about finding it in your own life?