How We Tackle Laundry

There are hundreds of tips out there on how to conquer Laundry Mountain, but today I’m adding my latest insights, in the slight chance that someone else still hasn’t found what they’re looking for, and thinks like me when it comes to dealing with laundry.

The Problem

I’ve tried a lot of things over the years, but never really found a great fit. I cannot get on board with the idea of doing a load each day – I like to get everything washed and dried in one day, if possible, so that I have the rest of the week to enjoy my clean clothes and not feel like it’s a never-ending chore. I get everything clean on Monday, and do ironing on Tuesday, but it’s always been the huge pile of stuff to fold which does me in. If clean clothes start to pile up at all, it just spirals out of control.

I think it’s a mental thing – it starts looking really overwhelming, and I think it will take more time than it will, so I start to procrastinate because I don’t feel like I have the time to deal with it. Also, I like the idea of my kids helping with laundry, but my energy-conscious mind does not like the idea of everybody doing their own laundry, resulting in many little loads.

I needed a way to get everything done in one day, while still involving my kids, with absolutely no laundry piling up. I finally found what works, and it’s fantastic. I’ve stuck with it for a few months now, so I’m pretty confident this will be a long-term solution. Here’s how we do it:

Gather and Sort

Everybody rounds up their laundry on Monday morning. (I chose this day because after the weekend, I always need a day at home to regroup and get everybody back on track, so I can stay consistent with doing laundry on this day.) Sometimes the girls help me sort all the loads, depending on where we’re at with school work, our schedule for the day, etc.

Choose Your Load Wisely

I alternate highly “hands-on” loads with easy loads – sheets or towels look like a big load, but they’re faster to fold and clean up, so it gives me more time to catch up on loads that are more time-consuming and full of lots of little socks and underwear.

Separate Immediately!

To avoid laundry piling up, I’ve found that I need to sort it as I’m taking it out of the dryer. This is the key that makes everything work for me! I have a laundry basket for each kid, plus one for socks, and I throw everything into the right basket immediately. For clothes that need to be hung, I make a separate pile which goes straight to our closet. (I hang as much as possible, because it’s faster to hang it than fold it.)

All that remains on top of my washer and dryer is a very small amount of clothes belonging to Ben or me. Encouraged by how small the pile is, I’m usually very motivated to fold it right away.

Involve the Kids

The girls are responsible for folding and putting away their laundry, and pairing the socks. Everett loves to put away his laundry while I’m folding it, and we usually get all of the kids clothes cleaned up on Tuesday.

This leaves almost a full, beautiful week of no laundry to worry about, which I LOVE.

Bonus Loads

While I can’t get behind the idea of doing a load a day, I’ve found that thinking of it as “working ahead” is enough to motivate me to throw in a load or two during the week, only if I have time. Because I don’t have to do it, and I won’t get behind if I don’t, I feel like it’s an optional way for me to lighten the load for Monday, and it’s fun to feel like I’m getting clothes washed in advance. It’s all mind-games, hey?! But whatever works.:)

To Hang or Not to Hang

In the past, I’ve talked about how much I loved to air-dry all our clothing. There were two reasons for this – my laundry never piled up, because I would hang everything in closets immediately, and I wanted to save energy and money by using our dryer less. Unfortunately, after doing some research, Ben and I discovered that the energy used to remove the humidity from our house caused by drying clothes was more expensive than using the dryer! If I had a clothes line, it would make more sense, but that would be time-consuming and overwhelming, which I don’t need at this point in my life, PLUS we’ve got some allergy issues around here, and I was told not to dry clothes outside because the allergens would be on our clothes.

So, we’re back to using the dryer, and I found a way to get clothes hung immediately, and life is good.

And that’s how we deal with laundry around here! If you have any great laundry tips to add, I would love to hear them, because it’s such a huge job, so if anything can make it more manageable, we should be sharing it all over the place!

What’s your laundry routine, and why does it work for your family?

 

My Inner Struggle Over Outer Appearance

I do not usually write about clothes or physical appearance on this blog.

You will not find “What I Wore Wednesday” posts around here. It just isn’t my thing.

But lately, I’ve been thinking about clothes, hair, and make-up, a lot more than usual.

Recently, I had a conversation with a friend of mine about Christian women and physical appearance. She shared how she was trying to see herself as God’s creation of beauty. If she truly believed God created her exactly the way He wanted her, she felt she had no business altering her appearance.

And immediately, I felt convicted, and challenged, and defensive, all at once.

Three months after the conversation, I still think of it every time I get ready in the morning. I struggle to figure out exactly what my opinion is about the whole thing. Do I have any business altering my appearance?

There is such a thin line between altering and enhancing beauty. I’m not a big fan of completely altering my appearance, but should I refrain from enhancing, as well?

As my friend talked, I thought about our yard, which was full of large weeds at the time. It’s a big leap, but those weeds are also God’s creation.

Now, I don’t want a yard full of weeds. We have been anxiously waiting for the rain to stop so we could get some sod on our yard before winter. You cannot imagine how giddy I was on the day that beautiful sod finally arrived.

But  God created both grass and weeds. Am I altering or enhancing what He has made when I choose to get rid of the weeds and plant grass?

My friend says that example doesn’t really count – God wants us to care for the Earth, and helping to beautify it is not the same as physical appearance. And she’s right, but sometimes it can help to try to find a comparison which will shed new light on the question.

So, bringing it back to my own physical appearance…

God gave me moody hair. Usually, it is neither straight, nor curly, but something weird in between. I have to put some effort into making it one or the other. If I left my hair alone and exposed it’s moodiness to the world, I’m sure everyone would survive. I might even get used to it.

But I choose to straighten it, because when I do, I don’t have to do much with my hair for about four days, which makes me very happy.

Am I altering what God has created?

I choose to wear a little bit of make-up. I have struggled with my complexion since I was a teenager, and I enjoy covering up the evidence. Whenever the subject comes up, people are surprised to learn that I’m wearing any make-up, so I guess it’s pretty natural-looking.

Am I enhancing or altering?

I’ve never thought it was wrong to put on a little bit of make-up, but one day Kaylia came into the bathroom while I was putting on some eye shadow, and said with a huge smile on her sweet face, “Mommy, can I make my eyebrows pretty, too?!”

My heart hurt as I looked down at her perfectly smooth, chubby cheeks and sparkling eyes, and I could not imagine how anything could possibly make her more beautiful.

Does God feel like that about us?

Is it wrong to have a little bit of fun with hairstyles  or nice clothes?

I can’t figure it out. I never want it to consume my life, and I desire balance.

But God created us to enjoy beauty.

That crazy-perfect woman in Proverbs 31 was “clothed in fine linen and purple.”

Do I get to enjoy the beauty of “fine linen and purple”, or is that going down the slippery path towards materialism and vanity?

I loved this blog post I read recently regarding beauty and vanity:

…I also have my mother’s fear of vanity. Whenever someone comments on how handsome my sons are, I catch myself saying, “I know, it worries me,” instead of, “Thank you,” and I need to stop this. By assigning fear or worry to looks, we give them more power than they deserve.

Why are we afraid? My mum thought beauty could lead to vanity could lead to an eating disorder. So then I got one anyways.

I am learning to celebrate my children in the same way I celebrate a piece of art. I do not fear the beauty found in a sunrise, in mountains, in a cathedral, in a Van Gogh. It’s a beauty that points to a gracious and loving God. So why, then, should I fear it in the flesh?

What does it mean to celebrate beauty in our own physical appearance?

If we’re celebrating it, should we only enjoy it in it’s unaltered form, or is God okay with our desire to dress things up a little bit?

I don’t have the answer to that question, which means…

1) I’ll have to keep wrestling through it

and…

2) I’m hoping you will all comment like crazy, and get some discussion going here, because I would absolutely love to hear your thoughts. I think we could learn from each other. Anyone have some words of wisdom?

 

Why (and How!) I’m Choosing to Own Less Clothes

My feelings toward clothing changed when I became pregnant.

Suddenly, there was a very real and urgent need for an entirely new wardrobe. At no other time in my life have I ever gone out and purchased an entire new wardrobe.

It is very painful on the budget to do so. It was kind of stressful for me.

So I sat down and made a list of what was absolutely necessary. (That list looks a lot different when it’s made on paper, at home, rather than mentally, in the store, as you are already trying on a super fantastic shirt that fits perfectly and brings out the color of your eyes.)

As I thought about my needs honestly, logically, and frugally, I realized I needed only eight outfits, if I did laundry once a week – eight shirts or sweaters, and three pairs of pants. For me, I knew this was enough, and I couldn’t really justify getting more than that.

So that’s what I bought. I owned very nice maternity clothes, and all of it was great quality that was still in good shape at the end of my pregnancy.

I was a tiny little bit sick of my clothes by the end, but looking back, I actually miss those clothes. I really liked them.

And then I wasn’t pregnant anymore. And suddenly, I fell into thinking that I needed about five times as much clothing as I had during my pregnancy.

I started shopping much more carelessly, and without a list or even a real idea of what I truly needed. If there was room in the clothing budget, it meant I could buy new clothes, whether I really needed them or not. And before I knew it, there I was with a closet full of more clothes than what I truly needed.

Every week, that bothered me. I remembered the simple feeling of an empty closet on laundry day – the sure sign that I didn’t have too many clothes, because they had all been used, and all need to be washed.

I missed those days.

For a long time, I knew I should do something about it.

And then one day I finally did do something about it.

Here’s how I did it (keeping in mind that I’m a stay-at-home mom who doesn’t have to glide out of the house looking sophisticated or professional – ever) :

1) I wear only what I love.

I would rather wear my favorite jeans every single day of the week, than force myself to wear the ones that don’t really fit well, and don’t make me feel good about the way I look. But I wear them because I feel like I have to. Like people will think I’m weird if I wear the same pair of pants every time they see me.

Um..so what? And will anyone really even notice? And if they notice, do I truly need to care?

2) I wear out what I have.

When I own fewer clothes, I actually wear them out, because I use them a lot. Great! Then I will actually need to go out and buy new stuff. I never used to need new clothes. I wanted new clothes, so I had to somehow justify a reason for buying them that didn’t sound as lame as, “I want to be more stylish.”

But when you have oodles of clothes, you don’t wear them out, because they’re hardly worn. Better to shop well, spend less, own less, and then replace it when you really need to.

3) I try to shop with intention.

I never spent a lot of money on clothing, and I don’t think I had more clothing than the average person. But I thought shopping was fun, and my lines were blurry when it came to what I needed or what I wanted. I felt guilty sometimes for buying something I really loved, but knew deep down I probably didn’t really need.

That list I made when I was pregnant? That was a good list. It is good to know what I truly need. Shopping with intention, rather than for the fun of it, gets rid of the guilt, and is much easier on the budget and on the closet.

4) And then I stay away from the mall.

Very logical, I know. But as I don’t need as many clothes, and I don’t spend very much time  shopping, I can’t believe how much freer my life feels. I went on a shopping spree in January, and bought a number of things that I needed, all at once.

Now I don’t need to go shopping again for a very long time. I’m not tempted to buy stuff I don’t need if I don’t go into a mall. I am able to make logical choices more easily, because I don’t have “shopping brain”. I will need a new pair of jeans in the not-too-distant future. In the past, I would just have gone out and bought them already. But now, I realize that I can make it work with what I have until summer, maybe even fall.

Because you know what? Everyone can totally survive, even if a pair of my “at home” jeans have a hole in the knee. I don’t like wearing jeans with holes, but when I’m crawling around, washing the floor or playing Polly Pockets, it really is okay if my jeans have a small hole. Let’s wait for something a little more serious before we rush to the mall.

5) I’m trying to stop thinking about my clothes altogether.

I find enjoyment in things that look nice. Which is okay, unless it gets out of hand. Or if it starts defining who I am.

Nobody notices what I’m wearing as much as I do.

Some people don’t notice at all!

But they probably notice if I’m nice and friendly to them, and if the things I say build them up and brighten their day.

It is so time to get over myself. Nothing wrong with nice clothes. I will continue to take pleasure in things that look nice. But there are so many things that matter so much more.

I want to focus on what truly matters.

There are people who can do this while still having a huge, super-fantastic, fashionable wardrobe. And that’s awesome.

For me, I have found that as I pursue a simpler life, I am able to better focus on the important stuff when I strip away some of the distractions.

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There are some great posts to read on this topic. I found Katie’s “No New Clothes Challenge” an interesting read.

All of Rachel Meeks’ tips on dressing well with a small wardrobe are worth reading.

And of course, I am a huge fan of Joshua Becker‘s tips to living with less in general. This is the article that inspired my wardrobe changes: 7 Ways to Sample Living With Less

Okay, your turn! I’d love to hear your opinion. Do you shop out of need or pleasure? How do you find a balance between the two?

Tips For Purging

I am in pursuit of a simple, joyful life.

Lately, I’ve been achieving this through purging. Who knew there could be so much magic in the act of purging?!

I wrote a post on Friday about how purging is changing the way I feel about my life, but since then, I’ve been thinking there’s a lot more to be said about the topic.

Getting rid of stuff can be hard to do. It can be even harder to get your family on board, so today, I’m going to share with you a few of the practical tips I’ve been using to help my family purge along with me!

1. Provide physical evidence of what items do not get used.

Toys – I used to think our girls played with all the toys they owned. Maybe not all the time, but we don’t have tons of toys, and surely they would miss some of those fantastic toys if I just got rid of them.

Just to be sure, I put the toys to the test. I arranged a number of toys in a corner of our living room where they would be easily accessible, and over the next few days, I watched to see which ones my girls grabbed first. After a week, there were some that had never been touched. Out they went! The girls never even noticed.

Clothes – A few years ago, Ben needed a little enlightenment. He was CONVINCED that he truly did wear all of his clothes in our closet. I was pretty positive he didn’t.

I had read in some organizing book that a simple way of testing this is to turn around all of your hangers so they’re hanging “backwards”. On laundry day, when you’re hanging up all the clean clothes, turn the hanger back so it’s hanging the way it normally does, and after a few weeks, you’ll have a pretty good idea, from the direction of your hangers, which items are not being worn.

I did this without telling Ben. He noticed the hangers looking a little funny, but never thought any further about it, and I never said anything. After a few months, I finally told him my little secret, and convinced him to get rid of almost all of his unused clothing. (Some really dressy stuff just isn’t used regularly, but we still needed to keep it.)

And apparently, we absolutely need to keep the sports jersey collection from around the world. Even if they aren’t worn, like…ever.

2. Get rid of things in stages.

A Box of Extras – Some things are just hard to get rid of. I get that. But it doesn’t mean they should be kept. For myself, I’m finding that if I don’t purge until it hurts a bit, I’m probably not getting rid of enough.

But sometimes, you just can’t let go. Ben has a navy fleece hoodie he really doesn’t wear, but he is unwilling to part with it. He believes a day will come when that hoodie will be the only article of clothing which will perfectly suit his needs.

And that’s fine. It’s his clothing, and I’m not going to bully him into getting rid of it. But he is okay with me putting a box on a shelf in our closet marked “Ben’s Extra Clothing”, where he can pull it out if he needs to. He’s agreed that if he hasn’t used the clothing in that box one year from now, we can get rid of it at that point.

I use the same method for our bathroom. I have a bin in our linen closet for items I’m not sure if we need, so we’ll wait for awhile, and if, in a few months, we haven’t taken anything out, I’ll feel okay about getting rid of everything.

The Second Sweep – I had already gone through our closet within the last six months, and there were some items I knew deep down I didn’t really use, but I just wasn’t ready to part with them. I left them in the farthest corning of the closet, rather than getting rid of them.

This time, I’m ruthless. It all goes. And somehow, something’s changed in the last six months. I almost got rid of stuff last time, and this time I’m actually able to let go. (Good grief, you’d think we were talking about something important here, but it’s just clothes! Still, it can be really hard!)

I thought it was just me, but then I read this blog post about going over things a second time, to get rid of even more. And that’s okay! Whether it’s a box to save for later, or going through things a second time, it’s okay to take some time to sort things out. Do what you need to do.

3. Get rid of the guilt.

Gifts – The most common reason I keep things is because of guilt. What if the person who gave me this item asks about it? (Do they ever?) What if they happen to see it at the thrift store I bring it to? (Seriously, what are the chances of that actually happening? Bring it to a thrift store far away from them!)

What I’ve come to realize is that whether the item was a gift or not, it’s still just STUFF. That person gave me stuff. Why? Because they love me, and wanted to express it in physical form. They wanted to bring pleasure to my life with an act of thoughtfulness and kindness.

And that is wonderful. I will bask in the kindness of receiving a gift from someone who loves me. I will focus on the intent behind the gift given. If I need  it and can use it, I will certainly do so.

If I  can’t make use of it, I will still be grateful for their thoughtfulness…and then I will send the gift to the thrift store. That may sound a little harsh, but for the sake of letting go of guilt and objects I do not need or want, I am choosing to think about the feelings behind the act of giving, rather than the object given.

Mistakes I Purchased –  I should not have bought that shirt. It fits funny. We did not need that popcorn popper, seeing as we never eat popcorn. I thought we might start eating it, but we didn’t.

I keep stuff because I think I should be using it.

No, I shouldn’t. We use what we use. I should not have to force myself to use our stuff. IT IS STUFF. If we haven’t used it yet, there’s an extremely good chance we never will. Get rid of it.

For some good reading on the emotions we attach to the things we own, read this post.

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And what if I suddenly realize we need an item we no longer have because I got rid of it?

Well, in all my years of moving and purging and simplifying, I don’t even remember it happening, until this last week! Anika came home from Awana and announced that she needed to wear green for St. Patrick’s Day this week.

Her only green shirt was in one of the eight boxes I had packed up to send to the thrift shop.

I had two choices – go through all those boxes (Please don’t make me!!), or buy a new green shirt for Anika.

But then I thought a little longer, and realized I had a few more options – she could borrow one from a friend, or I could look through a boxful of clothes that are a size too big for her, and waiting to be used next year. For one night, she could wear a shirt a size too big.

And guess what – there was a green shirt!! I was saved from the first two options, thank goodness!!

Moral of the Story: If you get rid of something you later end up needing, you might be able to find a way around it. It will just take some effort and creativity, but is that so bad?

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Your turn! I am eagerly awaiting any purging tips you care to share!

What’s Beautiful NOW

I was walking past a magazine rack the other day when a title on one of them caught my eye: What’s Beautiful NOW.

Because I need a magazine to let me know?

Because what used to be beautiful is not beautiful anymore?

Because what is considered “beautiful” is changing so fast that I can never keep up?

I kept thinking about that – about beauty that’s constantly changing, and results in the feeling of never being able to measure up.

And the verses that kept coming to mind were from 1 Peter:

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unchanging beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

It seems like every Christian woman anywhere has heard these verses, and they sound great – an unchanging beauty would be very appealing in a world where fashion and styles change constantly and I’m supposed to need a magazine to tell me what is beautiful right now.

But you know what my problem is? First of all, I really like nice clothes and great hair. I want those things. And having two little girls, I want them to look nice, too. And there’s nothing wrong with that, except that it can suck you in so fast that before you know it, priorities are all messed up and I’ve gotten way off track, and it’s time for another reminder that the exterior stuff is not important. It’s just really fun and appealing.

So I go to these verses to get my focus on a beauty that is unchanging, but how do I get it? With a gentle and quiet spirit.

Right. If it said feisty and vocal spirit, that would come much more naturally for me. I’ve always struggled with the words “gentle and quiet spirit.”

When I was younger, I had a friend who seemed to have been born with a gentle and quiet spirit. It kind of drove me nuts, because she was one of those people that was so nice, it seemed to accentuate my own un-niceness. Her voice was naturally very soft and sweet, and I always felt like a loud, aggressive person around her. I badly wanted to be that naturally sweet and quiet.

I’ve been reminded of that over these last few days as I’ve mulled over “beauty right now” versus an “unchanging beauty”. I decided to look up the definition for a “gentle and quiet spirit”, and found that they were described as having a “tranquil spirit”, and a “mildness of disposition.”

Guess what that means? I don’t need a personality change, as I used to think. But when my spirit is filled with the things of Jesus, it will be quiet before Him. I would surrender my will and desires over to Him until I would have a tranquil spirit, even if my voice is not naturally sweet and quiet like my friend’s. It’s not volume, it’s attitude.There’s not just one way to be gentle and quiet – any personality type can be quiet before God, and submit human desires to His.

I don’t have to push my own agenda on people, I don’t need to be aggressive to get my way or prove my point. I need to give that intensity to Jesus, and just focus on Him, to the point where I don’t even care about anything else.

Just Jesus. No silly magazines distracting me!