Been Thinking About Creating

Ben’s sisters are both off on wild, exciting adventures. They’re off to Europe and to the unknown.

I know that we’ll miss them, but I’m excited for them, and in a deep, dark corner inside me, I’m envious. I feel that way because they are going off to fulfill their dreams, and I often wonder what it will take to fulfill my own dreams.

I feel like I can’t quite figure out if I’m waiting for God’s timing, and for things to become “ripe”, or if I’m holding back because of fear, and all I need to do is start actively pursuing those dreams, there for the taking.

I’ve written about it on this blog before – my dream to speak and write and be the next Beth Moore and change the world. Sometimes I feel a little panicky because I feel like I’ll run out of time for all that and I should definitely be farther along in my pursuit.

Other times I feel like I’m still marinating, and like God has so much left to teach me as I stay at home with my girls, creating order in the midst of chaos, loving and supporting my husband in any way I can. There will be time for all those other things.

And in the meantime, I write.

It’s funny, because there have been times when I’ve questioned my decision to start a blog. I love doing it, but it can be really time-consuming. But I realize over and over again that I need to write. I need to communicate with people. So even during times when it feels like I don’t have time to blog, or have time to write, it’s what I need to do.

Sometimes it feels vain – like I consider all of my thoughts so important that they must be shared with the world. But sometimes it just feels like it is there inside me, and it needs to get out.

While I was having these thoughts, I came across this quote on a great new blog I found:

When you have a calling, when you have a gift from God, this is what I’ve learned about it.  Whether you do something with that gift from God or not, you carry the stamp of your gift, the weight of your calling, no matter how many years pass, no matter how many dreams you tuck away in the belief that you must have missed it.

You never stop wanting it, you never stop being it. It’s what you always loved to do and, yes, you do it every day without a single penny from anyone.  Even if no one acknowledges it.

You know in your heart of hearts that you can’t stop being this, doing this, anymore than you can stop breathing. (Emerging Mummy)

I love that. It’s like it legitimizes my need to write – not only legitimizes it, but…encourages it!

All our lives we all need to create because creativity is the life breath of our Creator Father and if we don’t create we breathe stale air and we wither dry. (A Holy Experience)

I blog to create! I used to paint pictures. Then I got a job, got married, had a baby. I didn’t have time to paint anymore, so I started scrapbooking. I had another baby. Even less time, so now I blog. The ways in which I create have changed over the years. Who knows what will come next.

What about you? Are you creating something? If not, you’d better start, cause who wants stale air?!

Cheesecake, Beth Moore, and Changing the World…

In my dreams, I am Beth Moore.

I have this secret wish to speak and teach and write books and change the world.

Presently, I am a stay-at-home mom, living out in the bush so far from civilization that I have to drive 20 minutes just to pick up my mail.

Changing the world seems highly improbable at this point in my life.

So here’s what I’m learning right now: God is calling me to be faithful in the little things.

It definitely helps that my “little things” are cute and lovable!

On most days. But I’m a normal mom. Some days, the “little things” are grumpy and frustrating, and doing laundry or washing dishes, when it will all just get dirty again in about 2 seconds, seems like a very far cry from changing the world.

But what I’m learning is that there aren’t insignificant things with God. He asks us to be faithful in everything, whether we’re called to do the big stuff or the small stuff.

Whether we’re called to be Beth Moore, or Kendra Dueck. Or whoever.

And when He is in it, it can’t be insignificant.

For example. I went to Providence College for 3 years, and during that time, my friends and I discovered that the nearby, unexciting little town of Niverville had a restaurant  that served the best cheescake in the world. We went there often.

That’s all that Niverville meant to me – great cheesecake.

Fast-forward a few years, and there I was with my new husband, feeling strongly that God was calling us into youth ministry at a church in …Niverville.

Our 5 1/2 years there were incredible. Life-changing.

Niverville on it’s own may not be wildly exciting. With God, it’s a completely different story that goes far beyond cheesecake.

So the ordinary things, if they are God’s things, can be pretty unbelievably fantastic.

You just have to see things His way.

This is what saves me – that for now, I am right where He wants me to be, so that makes this ordinary little life of mine the best possible thing for me.

I love it. And I also love that I have absolutely no clue what’s coming next. Isn’t that funny? I used to be the type of person that had a 5 year plan. I needed to know at least that many years in advance what I was going to do next.

But God used a series of events that led me to chuck the 5 year plan.

Now, all I know is that God has surprised me enough times in my life that I’ve learned there’s no way to predict the future. I’m just trusting that it will be way beyond anything that I could ever figure out for myself.

In the meantime, I will enjoy this life that He’s blessed me with, because it’s a pretty amazing life. I will be a good steward of everything He’s given me, so that I’m ready for whatever comes next.

Beth Moore or no Beth Moore.

Favorite Things Right Now

Tomorrow is my 32nd birthday. Besides thinking about how old that sounds, I’ve also been thinking about what my life is like right now. My mom always used to write down our favorite foods every year, just so that we could look back and see what things we liked.

So, in honor of my birthday, I’m going to write down the things I like right now, the things that are bringing joy and pleasure to my life at the age of 32:

1) Homemade Granola

This is my biggest treat. Words cannot describe how much I love this. So I’m sharing the recipe I always use for Homemade Granola with you, so you can experience this happiness as well. (It is 5000 times better than bought granola. No comparison.)

Aunt Alvera’s Homemade Granola

Mix 8 cups dry oatmeal, 2 cups chopped pecans, 1 cup flaked coconut, 1 cup wheat germ and 1 cup brown sugar in a bowl. (I leave out all the sweet stuff – fruit is sweet, don’t need sugar!) Mix 3/4 cup oil, 3/4 cup water, 1 tsp. vanilla and 1 tsp. salt together, and add to dry ingredients. Mix well, then spread in shallow pans. Bake at 275-300 for 1/2 an hour, stirring in between.

2) Watching the Sun Set Over the Lake

3) Orthotics!

I have just begun my relationship with orthotics, and I’m completely hooked already. They are changing my life. I’ve been dealing with a lot of hip and back pain for years, didn’t really know why, and after a few weeks of using insoles, things are already getting so much better. So glad I decided to try something new, and go to a podiatrist!

4) Learning Ballroom Dancing With Youtube Videos!

Ever since I saw “The Sound of Music” for the first time as a little girl, I’ve wanted to learn how to twirl. And now I know. Thanks to youtube.

5) Norwex!

I used to wonder why people couldn’t stop talking about some silly rags. I mean, they’re rags. But then around the time that I finally started realizing that I got a headache every time I cleaned my bathroom, my friend Julia became a Norwex consultant and told me everything she knows. And now I can’t stop talking about my AMAZING rags!! And don’t even get me started on the laundry detergent!

6) Beth Moore Bible Studies!

I’m doing an online study right now called “Believing God”, and it is incredible. I’m learning so much from it. It should really be mandatory for every woman to do a Beth Moore study.