I went for a walk late in the afternoon yesterday, just as the sun was starting to set. I turned the corner to head down my favourite sidewalk, and it suddenly struck me how there was such a collision of seasons happening before me.All that white snow was covered with brown leaves, and many of the trees still had leaves clinging to their branches. I don’t remember ever seeing so many trees with leaves after it’s snowed – I don’t know of it’s unusual, or if I just haven’t paid attention before.
But yesterday, I was suddenly seeing it everywhere, and I kept thinking about how it was a big, beautiful mess of everything – the purity of the snow, scattered with dead leaves, all mixed together.
It made me think about how transitions in life are very rarely neat and tidy. There’s a little bit of everything going on, all at the same time. There are reminders of the past season still lingering even while new things are starting to happen.
We have one foot in fall and the other in winter, and it feels a bit like this in my life. I’m thinking about new things and trying new ideas on for size, but there’s still a lot of the previous stage hanging around. Ben has also been going through a season of transition, and sometimes we’ve felt impatient for the old to hurry up and be done already so we can move on to the new stuff. But it feels necessary to take time to be stuck on the middle of everything.
I want it to be like walking into a different room and closing the door behind me, but it’s not like that. Life isn’t neat and tidy and controlled. A lot of the time, there’s a little bit of everything all going on at once, and I don’t remember to find the good in it.
But as I walked along, looking at that beautiful confusion of snow and leaves, I realized that it can be good and pretty in a slightly confusing kind of way, if I take the time to look for it.
And then I got close enough to one of the trees to realize that what I had thought were leaves were actually brown pods of seeds, and I was amazed to realize I was looking at a tree waiting to shed it’s seeds in spring! Three seasons are represented outside my door at the moment. It’s a lot, all at once, and it’s good.
As I walked home in the sunset, I wanted to commit it all to memory – how it feels to be okay with confusion, and to enjoy this moment, with a little bit of the old, some of the new, and some seeds for the future, all mixed together. God’s timing is perfect, and I want to keep walking in faith, trusting that He can lead us through every season.
Are you in a season of transition? Sorting your way through past, present, or future?