On the Upswing

This weekend, I was struggling with what Ben calls my “downswing”. In the beginning, postpartum anxiety made every day hard, but over time, the hard days have gotten fewer, and I enjoy longer “upswings”.:) But Ben still needs to remind me during my times of discouragement that it comes and goes, and if I just hang in there, things will soon get better.

Saturday morning, I could feel the downswing coming on, and I worked hard to resist it all day. In my head, I knew there was no reason to feel fear or stress, but no amount of logical thinking could get rid of the heavy spirit that persisted. I kept praying and distracting myself, but by Sunday morning, I was feeling worn out.

That’s when I remembered something a friend says:

“Worship changes the atmosphere in your home.”

I believe that’s true, but I seem to underestimate the power of it….

I got out my phone, and started looking for a good song on our youtube playlist. Nothing was hitting the spot, so I started searching Bethel music for a good option. I didn’t really know exactly what I was looking for, but when nothing stood out, I decided to just play the first song that popped up.

You guys. This is what I heard:

“No Longer Slaves”

You unravel me, with a melody
You surround me with a song
Of deliverance, from my enemies
Till all my fears are gone

I’m no longer a slave to fear
I am a child of God
I’m no longer a slave to fear
I am a child of God

From my mothers womb
You have chosen me
Love has called my name
I’ve been born again, into your family
Your blood flows through my veins

I am surrounded
By the arms of the father
I am surrounded
By songs of deliverance

We’ve been liberated
From our bondage
We’re the sons and the daughters
Let us sing our freedom

You split the sea
So I could walk right through it
All my fears were drowned in perfect love
You rescued me
So I could stand and sing
I am child of God…
WHAT ARE THE CHANCES??!! God is awesome. I was a bawling mess by the chorus, and for the rest of the day, those words kept running through my mind – “I’m no longer a slave to fear, I am a child of God….”
How often is He waiting to provide exactly what we need, right when we need it? All the time. How often do I miss it? I dismiss it as coincidence, or I don’t slow down and take the time to follow the promptings in my heart, or I’m not quiet enough to let Him get a word in edgewise.
But this time I got it right, and I’m so thankful I didn’t miss it. He rescued me so I could stand and sing. He takes my hand, and we are on the upswing!
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One thought on “On the Upswing

  1. Thanks for sharing these words – both yours and in music. The last 3 years, since not having it work at RR for me, I have struggled with anxiety/panic etc. I totally understanding finding it hard to make it to the upswing. I love how you titled that!! This weekend I was able to start my upswing as well! Your words touched my heart greatly. Thank you for sharing your journey!!!!

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