What I Really Want

Our girls have been listening to “The Chronicles of Narnia” on cd, non-stop for the last few days.


The Last Battle seems to be the general favorite, and I keep hearing bits and pieces of it while I do my housework, which I completely love. There are so many ways in which C.S. Lewis slips in great spiritual truths that keep speaking to me each time I hear the story.

My favorite part these days is a conversation between Jill and a unicorn, as he tells her about the good old days in Narnia, so different from the fear and danger they are presently facing:

“Oh, this is nice!” said Jill. “Just walking along like this. I wish there could be more of this sort of adventure. It’s a pity there’s always so much happening in Narnia.”

But the unicorn explained to her that she was quite mistaken. He said that the Sons and Daughters of Adam and Eve were brought out of their own strange world into Narnia only at times when Narnia was stirred and upset, but she mustn’t think it was always like that….

“Oh, I do hope we can soon settle [things] and get back to those good, ordinary times. And then I hope they’ll go on forever and ever and ever. Our world is going to have an end someday. Perhaps this one won’t. Oh Jewel – wouldn’t it be lovely if Narnia just went on and on – like what you said it has been?”

Every time I hear that last line, I keep thinking about my life. How many times have I wished my problems would quickly go away so that I could get back to the good stuff?

Or wished that vacation could last forever, or that our girls would always be small, giggling, hugging, and wanting to be close to us forever?

I used to think I was just wishing for things I couldn’t have, but more recently, I’ve been seeing those wishes in a different light: I think I’m just longing for Heaven.

I was made to long for a place where the good times never end, and every day is like the best vacation ever, and no one goes away and leaves you feeling lonely.

I don’t really know exactly what Heaven will be like, but more and more, I think about how we weren’t made for this earth, and maybe the longings of our hearts are not just discontentment with this life, but a deep hunger for the time when everything will be made right.

A while ago, I was talking on the phone with a close friend who moved to a new city shortly after we moved to Niverville, so it’s been interesting to compare notes on how our families are adjusting, and how our new friendships are coming along.

During that phone call, I described my perfect, dream friendship to her, knowing in my heart that in reality, no person could ever fill the role I was describing. When I finished, my friend said, “I don’t think you’re longing for a friend – I think you’re longing for God.”

Maybe we long for God all day, everyday, and just don’t recognize it. And maybe things don’t feel fair or right because…they just aren’t, and better times are coming.

By saying all of this, I’m not suggesting that we just sit in discontentment and grumpiness all day long, because we’ll never be satisfied here on earth, anyway.

Rather, I think we need to develop a different perspective – a heavenly one.  When disappointment and discontentment creep up, and we feel impatient and frustrated because we just want to get back to the good stuff, I think we can recognize it for what it is: our natural desire for God and Heaven, and everything else He truly made us for.


3 thoughts on “What I Really Want

  1. Your post made me think of a song. Are you familiar with All Sons & Daughters? They have a song called “The Longing” and it’s beautiful. I think you might like it. “This place, this time/Won’t satisfy/My soul was made for You…” Really their whole CD is wonderful. It’s also called “The Longing”. I think it’s probably a good thing to recognize in our lives. You know when people talk about a “God-sized hole” in our hearts…it’s REALLY TRUE!!

  2. Wow. That TOTALLY makes sense. In a really profound way, for me. I always wondered what it meant to long for heaven and this makes the most sense. More sense than anything else I have heard/conjured. Thank you for this. And I when I say thank you, I mean a deep and really heartfelt “you have just changed my thinking” THANK YOU!!

    • Your comment made my day.:) It’s awesome when God gives us things to encourage us, and to pass on to others, so I’m glad it was meaningful for you!

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