Bedroom Issues

As of this weekend, Kaylia is the proud new owner of her own room.


When we moved into this house a year ago, we chose to have our girls share a room. Because of the 5 1/2 year age difference, we kinda felt like it was now or never. I really wanted them to have the experience of sharing a room, because I think you learn good life lessons from having to share a space like that.

And it has taught them some great things…I think. Their relationship seems much closer, and they did such cute things together in there. My favorite will forever be Kaylia crawling into Anika’s top bunk to “nuggle” her. I’d often go into their room in the morning and find them in Anika’s bed together, talking or playing.

But they also did a lot of fighting. And recently, there have been a number of signs pointing to Anika’s need for her own space and a little more privacy. (“Need”, as in “It would be really nice.” Since there are a number of families in the world who live in one-room huts and find a way to make it work, I tend to define the need for private space fairly loosely.)

Our goal was to have them share a room for at least a year, and this April, we reach our goal.

I wasn’t sure how we’d break the news to them. Although they fought a lot in there, we could tell they still loved being together.

But one day, they announced, all on their own, that they wanted their own rooms, and they’d even decided who would get which bedroom. So much easier than I’d anticipated!

We spent this last weekend emptying our office, painting, and moving furniture around. (Thanks, Joel! No ulterior motives there when we invited friends over for Easter! For real. The timing just happened to work out so well!)

Kaylia spent a few nights in her new bedroom, and everything seemed fine. It took a bit of convincing the first night, but she really seemed okay.

Until yesterday afternoon.

I told the girls they needed to play in their rooms by themselves for half an hour. Anika happily ran off, but Kaylia LOST IT COMPLETELY.

She sobbed inconsolably for half an hour. I tried to comfort her, but that was pointless, so I finally left the room to let her work it out on her own. She sat on her bed, angrily sobbing things like, “I’m going to sneak out of my new room and run to the living room, and Mommy won’t know!!!”

After wailing for awhile longer, she said, “I will never be myself again in my new room!!! I am not excited anymore about my new room!! I don’t like the pretty new things Mommy bought for my room!!!!!!!”

Oh, well. Major changes can’t be easy, I guess!

2 thoughts on “Bedroom Issues

  1. We’ve had many issues with our girls sharing a bedroom as well! We have 3 bedrooms on the main floor which works out “perfectly” with the size of our family! However, 1 1/2 years ago we decided to move Chelsea into her own room! She told us often that she needed her own space and knowing her personality I knew she was right! So, I went to work painting Garth’s old furniture that we used for our spare bedroom and painting Chelsea’s big new room her favorite color – purple! I bought her new bedding and when finished the new room looked SO wonderful! We also painted Aimee’s room her favorite color – hot pink! When all was done both rooms looked really warm, cozy and beautiful! Well, it lasted only a couple of months. It didn’t take Chelsea long to become afraid as her room was the only one in the basement! Then she told me she had NEVER WANTED to have her room in the basement. What to do? She ended up sleeping on the floor in AImee’s room and eventually we moved her stuff up. They are now both squished into their little room and have been for a long while and the struggle still continues! They both want/need their own room but nobody wants to be in the basement! The interesting thing, though, is that when the girls were in their own rooms they started to play much nicer together and actually sought each other out to play! I’m hoping that is what will happen with your girls! Maybe Kaylia’s room is one that the family will have to make an extra effort to spend time in, making it special in a new way! And maybe every once in a while they can have “sleepovers” in each others rooms! Wishing you success!

    • Oh, I hope you’re right about the girls wanting to play together more because of having their own rooms! That would be great. And I hope things work out okay with your girls sharing a room! That basement thing is a tough one. It would seem kind of lonely down there!

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