It’s been five full, wonderful, challenging years since we moved to Red Rock Bible Camp.
I remember feeling like we’d moved to paradise.
I would lie in bed with the window open, and listen to the loons on the lake. And I couldn’t believe that God had blessed us so richly with the opportunity of being here, of having the chance to do something we’d always wanted to do.
And now it’s time to do something else.
Everyone who moves to camp knows it’s not forever. It’s so isolated, and pretty much everything about it is intense.
The schedule is intense, the ministry is intense, the location is intense, the beauty is intense.
Part of me is so tired, I know this is a good choice for our family, but part of me is aching.
I love intense.
This has always been my favorite place in the world. Last time I left, I hoped and hoped that I would come back. Countless times over the last five years, Ben and I have taken our girls on little adventures around camp, and I’ve almost had to pinch myself to believe that we’ve done this as a family.
We came back and made this ours. These memories will be ours forever. It’s in the story of our family.
I don’t really know how to move on from that.
I’m getting that feeling you get on vacation – the feeling at the end, when your days have almost run out, and you’re trying to get in as much as you can. You know you can’t stay on vacation forever. It has to end, but you try to make it last as long as possible, and as you walk away for the last time, you keep looking back over your shoulder, trying to memorize every sight, every sound, every smell…
I’ve actually been walking around camp with my eyes closed a lot, lately. I can smell the trees better with my eyes closed! I can hear the silence better with my eyes closed. And then I open my eyes, and there’s the moon shining through the trees, and I ache.
We hear about summer staff who are planning to come on spring staff this year, and I ache. It makes me want to ditch the new plans and just stay. Oh, the people. We love camp ministry. We believe in it.
There are a lot of reasons why we’re going. I’ll cover those in a different post, for those of you who are curious. It’s another story about how God leads, and how we’ve gone about coming to this decision. It’s been a struggle.
But now it’s time to go. And I just keep looking over my shoulder…