I’ve been feeling pretty depleted lately. We’re nearing the two week mark since Ben’s been gone, and I’ve been disappointed in myself. I wanted to “rise to the occasion” a little more than I have been.
My parents kindly gave me a much needed break yesterday. I needed to do some laundry, clean up our stuff, clear up the clutter,which usually ends up clearing the clutter in my mind, as well.
When that was done, I was left with one hour to become sane once more.
How do you do that in an hour?
Countless times, I’ve heard about how moms should take a long bath to relax.
I hate baths. If you want to torture me, make me take a bath. I love showers, but not enough to take one in the middle of the day to relax.
I love reading, and journaling, too, but somehow, I just wasn’t in the mood for anything.
So I prayed about it. It went something like this: “God, I need you to fill me up, very quickly. I’ve got one hour. What can I do that will feed my soul, and get me ready to be a good mom again? How can I truly see You in this next hour?”
And then it came to me.
I went out and did this:
I found Jesus outside. I know He’s everywhere, but I’ve always been able to connect best with Him in nature.
And when I bring my camera, I’m forced to find what is always there.
After wandering around, really seeing everything again, discovering again how little I know about beauty and God and nature, I also became ready to see my girls again.
Oh, to find joy and unfamiliarity in them. To never take them for granted, and to find joy in mothering, even when there’s too much fighting and whining and missed potty training attempts.
Beauty in everything.
The unfamiliar in the familiar.
Food for my soul, and joy for my heart!
How do you go about finding it in your own life?
Ordinary Days 
LOL! We must be related! Household clutter clutters my mind. I tell my kids, “It the house is a mess, then I’m a mess.” And baths? Yuck! We have a Jacuzzi tub in our current house and had one in our last house and in ten years with a large tub available, I got in maybe twice (and I showered before and after)!
That’s funny – I don’t come across many people who don’t like baths! I wonder what else we have in common…:)
… fond memories of our Grandma’s cookies and pink popcorn, a two-bench garden swing (I’m going to have one someday).
Oh, Kendra…the struggle of motherhood…I don’t know how single mothers do it!!!!!! Those that do it well MUST be getting their strength from God. Where else?! I love how you fed your soul. The pictures are LOVELY! I’m sending up a prayer right now that you’ll have strength to find LOTS of beauty in the moments of the next week…and that you’ll “loom” at the girls long enough to find unfamiliar things that make you curious to find out more about them. That is totally something I need to do, too. Oh, those precious children. So often, I just live my day sort of glazing over them…feeding them and all those life-giving things…but not much extra. I want to POUR over them…LIFE-giving things. Blessings on you and your beautiful little girlies.
Thanks, Alicia! Yes, I have been trying to “loom” at my girls often and much. (Hmm, today at lunch, I should definitely taken more time for looming…maybe it would have helped!) I love what you wrote about the two different ways to do life-giving things for our families!
Hope you’re doing well! We’ll have to have a good long talk when I get home.:)