Why Our Kids Won’t Ever Be Cool

Found this great post by Jon Acuff about raising kids who are “dorks”. I wouldn’t go so far as to call my sweet girls dorks, but I do think that they could have trouble being considered “cool”. If we keep homeschooling them, they’ll never know! At least, not until they’re old enough to work through that emotionally. Hopefully…

Anyway. This is something Ben and I have talked about before. I think many parents secretly want their children to be brilliant, gifted, and socially accepted. Well, actually, “cool” would be better than “socially accepted”. I don’t want my kids to be mocked and made fun of. I don’t want them to feel rejected or lonely. I would much rather have them be strong leaders among their peers, confident, outgoing, sought after by people.

But the trouble is that I don’t want to raise our girls in a way that will lend itself very well to turning them into young women that the world will find very desirable. (And really, writing “that the world will find desirable” does sound quite disturbing, if you think about it.)

They won’t be allowed to listen to raunchy music, or dress immodestly, or watch what everybody else is watching on TV. They will have rules and curfews and all such uncool parental types of things.  Sheltered? Yes, please. In some ways. If “sheltered” means keeping them kids for the number of years that they actually ARE kids, then they will indeed be sheltered.

It would be very legalistic of me to believe that a bunch of strict rules will turn our girls into godly people. But I am a big fan of pure thoughts and pure hearts, and as a parent, I want to do what I can to keep the soil of their lives soft – I don’t want them to become desensitized to all of the junk that’s around them. Sometimes, I think being sheltered can be a good thing.

But I don’t want them to be ignorant or naive of real life. I want them to care about what is going on in the world around them – to know that good and evil exists without needing to make it into entertainment, or to constantly live on the edge of it. And then to make life choices that are godly, instead of cool.

I guess sometimes, in the right place and in the right crowd, “cool” can be “godly”. But I don’t want to raise children who are too concerned with what is cool.

Because that wouldn’t be cool. Ha!

But seriously. Are there any other parents out there who feel even a tiny bit of the inner struggle between raising cool kids or raising godly kids?

The Bible pretty much promises that it will be hard to follow Jesus. It will hurt, and be lots of work, and be a struggle. Lots of people won’t understand, and will mock and scorn that kind of a life. That doesn’t sound appealing. And yet I know that everything good and wonderful and close to Jesus is most definitely worth all the pain, work, and struggle. That’s what I want for my darling girls. I hope and pray that they grow up wanting it too.

Even if they are dorks. I’m kind of a dork myself! It’s working out okay.

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5 thoughts on “Why Our Kids Won’t Ever Be Cool

  1. I was just talking about something along these lines with another friend yesterday! And for sure I also have an inner struggle with exactly this issue. I so badly want my boys to be accepted by their peers…but more than that I want them to be an influence on them. To show Jesus to those around them. To be “different”…but in a good way. These are the things that Nathan and I strive for…so we also want our children to strive for these things as well. Unfortunately we cannot control their choices, though. We will raise them up with them knowing they are Children of God. But they are the ones who need to embrace it. That’s scary. So I pray for their choices, try to teach them HOW to choose and lead them in the direction of Christ. I hope that in the end they make a real and true decision for Christ and that their “difference” is what draws people to them…not drives them away. Thanks for the thought provoking post, Kendra…as always!

  2. I was homeschooled through 8th grade…and I was “sheltered” in the most positive sense of the word! I was sheltered from bad TV shows, illicit song lyrics, bullying, cursing, sexual images, etc. I’m a big fan of that kind of sheltering – even if it does mean that “coolness” is sacrificed.

    P.S. I’m kind of a nerd too. 😉

  3. I’m so with you on this one! I agree that I don’t want my kids to necessarily be ‘sheltered’ from what’s going on in the world. I think it’s important that they understand what’s out there and how they can be different; a shining light in the midst of everything.

    But that doesn’t mean they need to be the next Hannah Montana wanna-be!

    I am strict with my girls TV watching too. And clothes. And NO make-up for a long time please and thank-you!!

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