There’s a verse that I memorized as a little girl that sticks with me still. “What time I am afraid, I will put my trust in Thee.” (Good old King James, it’s got to have the “thee” in it!)
A couple of weeks ago, that verse came back to me again. I was sitting in a waiting room, about to be called in to see the doctor to receive some test results. And I was scared.
See, I’m really good at worrying. I’ve been practicing my whole life. And getting test results is something that can freak me out. So as I was sitting there, nervous and scared, with that verse was stuck in my head. I tried repeating it to myself, hoping to get my mind in the right place, and trying to stop worrying.
But as I said, “…I will put my trust in Thee,” I suddenly realized that it was a lie. My trust was not in God as I was sitting there. There are lots of times when I don’t put my trust in God. There are terrible, hard things in this world that I am just plain scared of, and I can say that I trust God, but sometimes I don’t. I wouldn’t feel the way that I do sometimes, if I were actually trusting Him all the time.
So I sat there trying to figure out how to learn to trust God. How do you?
And then it hit me – the verse says, “I will put…” – not “I will magically discover that my trust is already put in Thee.”
I was feeling like a very bad Christian because I was not trusting God. But I suddenly realized that it’s a choice I need to make over and over again. With every situation that comes up, I need to once again say, “God, I will put my trust in you. I will choose to put it there.”
Beth Moore says that if you don’t feel something, live as though you are a woman who feels it, and the feelings will eventually catch up with the actions.
When I am worried or scared, I will choose to put my trust in God, even though it doesn’t want to be put there, and eventually, if Beth Moore is right, the feelings will follow. And if she’s wrong, it’s still a good idea, because I will be acting in obedience to God, even when my emotions haven’t quite caught on yet.
As I choose to act the way God wants me to, I will be growing my “trust muscle” – I’ll get better at putting my trust where I want it to be, rather than allowing my emotions too much control in my life.
What about you? Is there an area in your life where you’ve allowed your emotions to make decisions that they have no business making?
Ordinary Days 
I love reading your blog, but I have to say that this posting hit home for me today. I’m applying for a new job right now and I had an interview for one that I would really love to get. During this process of preparing for the interview, doing the interview, and now waiting to hear back I tend to start to worry. What I’ve been doing when I realize that I’m starting to worry again is stop and ask myself why I’m worried (I won’t get the job) and then I realize that it shouldn’t worry me because at the moment I have a stable job (just one I want to leave). Not only that but if I don’t get this job, it just means that God has something planned for me that is in line with His will for my life and I just can’t see what that is with my limited vision from down here. Suddenly I feel better and can leave it in His more-than-capable hands where it belongs and carry on. Thanks for your encouragement Kendra!!